The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, my AH is now a RAH. He did 30 days inpatient and another 45 in an Intensive outpatient while living in a 1/2 way house. He has learned all about his illness and what it did to our family. He was far from home so all our communication was by phone for the last 2 months, he sounds good and I am thankful to be moving forward. He is coming home on Monday.
I have some anxiety about his return-- but that is for me to work thru---I truly believe that my f2f meetings, posting here and my being in therapy helped not only me and the kids, but him---- to take a hard look at what he wanted in his own life.
I started this journey very tangled up in the idea that we were a single unit---plowing thru life as a team and that was how it had to be. I lived thru a very harsh winter and stayed very peaceful with him away and I came to realize that I am a very strong person and that I can find happiness with or without him in my life. I will support him in his recovery and continue to work on mine.
I still don't know for sure that he will stick with his program but I am committed to stick to mine. I have made the decision that I can live with him in recovery..........but should he relapse, I will be getting off the crazy train for good and get a divorce. I have told him as much----he accepts this.
I want to thank everyone for their encouraging words on this forum and I haven't posted in awhile, but I have been reading along and it helps a lot.
Keep calm and carry on---- Jill
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
Thanks for the strong and positive update, Jill. I love to read the commitment you have made to yourself regardless of whether or not he continues to drink. I also like seeing that in his absence, you learned that you are a strong person who can be happy with or without him, too! Good work. Glad you want to "keep calm and carry on." (((J)))
Good to hear you so positive. I'm new here...Mari - my first marriage ended up in divorce...went thru the crazy train and decided when he tried to kill me and my babies I'd had enough. But the good news is that he has been sober for over 20 yrs remarried and we're all friends. I raised the kids alone but it was ok - hard but ok with Gods grace of course.
I hope all will be so well for you...keep working your program - right now I'm so thankful for mine...my al- anon home groups are so healthy and so awesome...has helped me so much since my daughter began drinking along with her husband.
Good for you, Jilly! My AW is almost 6 months sober, so it can be done. I kept to my recovery and she kept to herss and we helped each other by staying out of each others' inventories. I hope it goes well, and its always good to know you have tools!!
I know your feelings of anxiety because you will never really know what is going though his head and if he will be stay in recovery. You can only pray and let go but stay strong in your recovery. Like you I don't never ever want to go back to the past so I can never forget or get lazy with myself. If I do I will slide just like the alcoholic does without a program.
I see it as simple choice so I will pray to keep it that way...because it's the only way for me.
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
