Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Being productive ..
Post Info TOPIC: Being productive ..
SerenityRUS


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3496
Date:
Being productive ..
Permalink  

Being productive is usually more along the lines of how to procrastinate and other not so healthy behaviors .. it's definitely something I'm working on because honestly .. I have used this on going legal battle to not face some of what I need to deal with .. kind of like dealing with the qualifier in my life .. my focus is else where instead of taking care of me and what that means in terms of my own life. 

This move was really hard on me personally .. it's everything that I fear in dealing with change.  It's cleaning house in a literal and physical sense .. it's having to make a decision and usually moving for me is a RUSHED decision.  In this case it was a I had to do it or else kind of situation as well .. honestly it was best for me and I'm grateful for it.  I still was kicking and screaming.  evileye

It also forced some issues I wasn't dealing with in terms of my STBAX .. such as dealing with him when I don't want to .. another kicking and screaming issue for me.  It is what it is .. and obviously I needed a reminder of what I don't want in my life.  no

So moving in has been a slow process .. it IS coming along.  I do what I can on a daily basis.  Usually that means addressing a box, a bag, cleaning the bathrooms or the kitchen.  Something that makes me feels like I am accomplishing something positive.  I'm learning balance.  If I feel the motivation to unpack .. I do it .. if I feel the motivation to clean I do that .. if I feel the motivation to do nothing .. guess what .. I plug into Netflix and take some time for me in that way.  It is sooo nice to flip on Netflix while doing the dishes or unpacking just as background noise.  I have really enjoyed just being able to have that luxury.  I love the internet!

Something that I have been very, very grateful for is NOT having to deal with the constant criticism that I'm not doing enough.  That it's not done right .. or that it's not being done.  My self tapes are much more positive.  My self esteem has grown in leaps and bounds .. I still feel uncomfortable having people over .. however I figure cramming 17 years of crap into a much smaller living space .. well .. they will have to deal with it.  I'm doing the best I can and that's got to be good enough.   

I'm stumbling and doing some flailing .. it's all mine and that's way ok.  I've actually gotten through a lot when I look at how it was .. I have some paths in the living room .. there was a very small path at the beginning of the month and it's getting larger now .. lol.  My room is starting to be addressed .. there are garbage bags of clothes that need to be sorted or hung.  I can at least now get to the closet so I can store things in there.  My kids are doing what they can .. I really need some shelves .. so I will start looking at those shortly. 

First time for everything I guess and this being the first time I have moved and it's a new place that is all mine .. this is a big deal to me.  So it's a learn as you go kind of deal.  I will need to reorganize a few things in the linin closet and then that will help.  Figure out how I'm going to store bathroom things.   I think I've addressed some of those issues. 

Then I remind myself how much I have going on .. track meets, spring concerts and so on .. LOL .. this doesn't include me working, the kids school, church .. whatever other obligations that I have .. I do try and attend Alanon meetings as much as I can .. right now that's about 1x a week .. 2x if I'm lucky. 

Anyway .. it's a wonderful experience and it's getting better .. it is truly a big learning curve for me on how to make better use of my time and NOT beat myself up and comparing myself to other people.  I'm trying to observe and learn. 

Hugs S :)

 



__________________

Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Breakingfree


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3972
Date:
Permalink  

Don't rush your journey sister and honestly down time is huge when you are processing so much within, take it and don't feel guilty. It is amazing after I had to move 4 times in the last few years how I got rid of so much physically and mentally and it took it out of me. I have been where I am now and I am starting again to collect things lol, I am not good at letting go of some things, but living in a smaller place does at least force me to sort and keep it to a minimum. One foot in front of the other and you will get to sit back here soon and look at your new place and your new place on your own and feel the amazement of accomplishment. Keep up the awareness and good work! Sending you love and support!

__________________

Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:
Permalink  

Be Gentle with yourself Serenity.

 I find it fun to  listen/watch Net flicks as I work around the  house----  just remember that  finding the "middle road"  is what this program is all about. 

Keep on showing up for yourself.   smile



-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 1st of May 2014 12:49:21 PM

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:
Permalink  

You are doing very well. I liked what you said. YES you doing what you need then a movie is healthy!! We cannot always be ON and be pushed into things we are not ready for for whatever reason!

the world is being led by greed, hurry hurry to make money.

we do not have to be part of that. I say it takes the time it takes.

I say NO. I have some esculated serious health issues. My life can be taken by over stressed. I won't even answer calls. am in the midst of business things about my home, my caretakers who are on my property as medical hardship to help me.

I have two advocates now. I use them the mortgage company as many are, pulled a lot of illegal activity on my loan. so now Oregon has a program to fix things.

so I don't answer mail from them but send it to one of my advocates. feels great.

I have no debt, no cre. cards etc. am super frugal. I need simple when the world says buy buy. I don't care if my nightgowns are a bit shredded who sees me, my dogs and pigs??? lol I would rather help out my son or another person a few bucks.

You are on the right track. Yoda said do not try, DO. I do not say try anymore. I say do. it has made such a difference. Its OUR Life, we choose how to live it.

i have a horse in my front yard. I love that, its all tidy and green with a pond in front. her bay color with those greens...so lucious.

I hang my cloths etc all over my fences. (c:If I need a nap, I bring the dogs in and piggy and nap. I need to make sure I can rest so gotta bring them in so I don't worry.

Your needing to do something is like me too. I am so glad you said that! I tell myself ok you can clean up the back pasture a bit. get the deck ready to be repaired. Or fix the barn wall where big ole augie pig busted thru...

ONE or two things only.

Its important we protect ourselves. especially if we live alone or with someone who gives no support.

hugs hugs!!!!



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
ilovedogs


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1582
Date:
Permalink  

The reason that I came to program and STAYED was because of stories like yours where people shared their ESH and reminded me that I'm not alone. With that said, your story and your recovery is ESH for someone else coming along and for all of us trying to find our place in the world. So, thank you for sharing your journey and all the little steps of growth and nuggets of faith that you find along the way. You're doing great and yes, you deserve a break here and there. Rome wasn't built in a day so be gentle on yourself and take your time. Hugs and love to you!

__________________
Struggling to find me......
Truth


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 934
Date:
Permalink  

That was so great serenity..... Made my day to hear that it is getting better Big Hug to you.

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Being productive ..