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Well, here's the bottom line .. it is important legally for me to document these things and DO need legal proof of things that are occurring I can document that is not as strong as the police being involved. I did ask my atty to ask my STBAX's atty if he knew where he was? Was he in jail? Was he in the hospital? Why didn't he show on Sunday? He made a comment about how he was waiting on financials from me .. LOL .. Nooooo .. he's not .. well sure enough he checked himself and found out that again .. it's NOT me we are waiting on. I also reminded him that me getting money out of STBAX is like pulling teeth. I don't want to spend 600$ to get 400$. Was he able to obtain the financials that he so assured me were coming? How is STBAX's agreement with his atty working for the other atty? LOL .. both of which he gave me a shocked look and sheepishly replied .. well not to well .. LOL. YA THINK?! This is ridiculous .. well what do I want? I want a fair equitable settlement that means a win win situation for myself the kids and even the STBAX. Based upon his actions this weekend .. I will lay dollars to doughnuts he's drunk or was drinking which is why the kids didn't hear from him. I get from him crazy when he's sober and then drunk crazy when he's drinking and that's just how it is at the moment.
I also let him know to warn STBAX's atty every single time he doesn't show there will be a well check especially if there is no communication as to what is going on. He committed to the children he would see them .. he owes them a simple phone call to let them know he's not making it. Now .. it's ok if he can't follow through I don't care where he is .. who he is with .. there will be a knock at the door AND there will be a policeman there as well. I will continue to make these kinds of calls. It is what it is and I have rechecked my motives and bottom line is my kids and I have a life and on his visitation days .. our lives don't stop. There will be no more changed plans and until he can suit up and show up .. the kids aren't going to wait around for him to figure out if he has better plans or not. This is my own thought process if I don't push the summer visitation .. there will be no summer visitation. That's fine.
LOL .. he tried to tell me we had a verbal agreement about the kids for taxes and I assured him NOOOO we did not .. there has NEVER been any discussion about taxes as WE DON"T communicate and couldn't last year for most of the year. LOL! WHATEVER!! This goes the way of I'm holding on to financials. DO NOT tell me what I have and haven't done .. I'm very willing to own what I haven't done.
ANYWAY .. LOL .. other than that .. it's all good .. I just don't know how in the hell these people think I'm suppose to raise children on what it is he participates in ... that is for them to sort out .. I'm not going to worry about it.
Hugs S :)
-- Edited by SerenityRUS on Tuesday 29th of April 2014 10:26:52 AM
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
UGH!!!! I have no idea how you do it! Of course, this could be me if I chose to leave my AH, too, since we know their similarities to some degree. Well, I'm glad you have a sense of humor about it all anyway. Just keep taking care of YOU and working your program and hug those kids!!! Sending you some virtual hugs, too!
Keep on keeping on sister! You know he is an A and I am sorry he keeps acting it out, but you know how to take good care of yourself and your kids and you are right, life does not stop for him. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Serenity you are a stronger woman than me. This all sounds really stressful and cant be good for your health. Can you take a break away from it for a while, gain some space in your head? Sending you some good vibes.x
