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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I am so anxious that I want to post every time I get a chance...
Post Info TOPIC: I am so anxious that I want to post every time I get a chance...
Hoot Nanny


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I am so anxious that I want to post every time I get a chance...
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Today I feel compelled to post. I haven't in a few days. My mom is back in the hospital. I am OK w/ it. My family is coming up to take her back home. I am actually OK w/ it & look forward to her leaving. I have already spent nearly 20 years basically keeping her occupied. Now it is time for her to be taken care of by my immediate family. I am not sore over all of this I am just relieved. It has hurt so much seeing her decline. But, I am basically done. I need to do only what I can to be responsible for only what I can do today. Each day I have to make a decision either do something for her or not. I haven't had a real positive conversation w/ her since she has been admitted voluntarily. All she wants to really do is cuss people out when they don't do what she wants. And, whether she is an alcoholic or not, she chose to drink in bars over the last week or so. I was appalled to know that she was carrying on this way & had to hear it later from someone else. I do not feel like I am bothered by her actions; I just wanted to know what she was doing that maybe I could make a difference in her life. She feels like she has no support from me. In the last two days, two people have said that I am a good daughter & that there should be more good daughters out there like me. My mother would never say that to me.

You are probably getting the picture now. I am not going to go on & on anymore about this. I am just grateful that some day maybe I can actually be thanked for what I have done. If not, it has been OK to be me.

Kathleen



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Hoot Nanny
Debilyn


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does not matter what the disease says. you know you are doing  your best, that is what matters! deb



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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grateful2be


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Agreed, Deb. Lots of prayers, Kathleen.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
DavidG


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smile I enjoy reading your shares, Kathleen... we have no time constraints here- and at time I just go for it too. It does help, and over time it helps one darned lot!

As a kid I loved writing letter to people, and especially getting letter back. [That was the point I suppose!]

This board is letter heaven,

                                           and I am in clover... smile



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Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  
Cathyinaz


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To be honest now your family can see for themselves the full extent of what you might have gone through. You have done your best with what you have now it's time for her HP to take over and you to take charge of you and you alone.

Prayers for you and your family and someday mom will understand what you have done over the last 20 years.

((( hugs )))

PS: Keep coming back because we are here for you....



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Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I am so anxious that I want to post every time I get a chance...