Amazing that I got the distinct feeling and impression that both his HP and mine were sitting there.  My sponsor works hard at listening and filtering what he hears thru his own experiences.  I love and appreciate that...he is not flash answers, not one shoe, mine fits all and I could see him listening to his HP or our HP in the process.  He had perspectives and experiences that I didn't and don't have and I in return have the same.  His justification was and is if it works it works and if it doesn't don't worry about it you're not missing anything. We are not identical men in recovery and are not supposed to be so we can bring the different perspectives which cause me to have to think outside the box; out side the frame of the picture.  I arrived at solution which is very, very humbling for me and always has been; giving up my power absolutely and adjusting my boundaries to allow for progress and not perfection from myself or others.  He guided be back over and thru the first three steps, "Trust God" and then revisited old discoveries from former 4th steps which reappeared over time as I tried to assume power again, telling my HP too often, "I got this don't bother".  

I feel humbled and for me that is not a good feeling, like coming down with the flu where one of the first symptoms is the loss of energy.  Power and control has been put back on the shelf (do we ever loose it?) and I removed the warning sign from the front of my yard opening myself up to softer responses if someone, anyone makes the decision "hey I'll just use these peoples drive to turn around in".  Don't know yet how new responses will work.  The gate idea has been around for a while and I learned in Al-Anon that the early gates and boundaries actually held me in rather than held others out.  I've got my sponsors perspective to think about.  He doesn't say "you must or you have to".   I get to take the test..."this is a test, only a test".  

So as suggested I've done good time (it was good. one reason is I get to listen to some other voice than mine in my head) with my sponsor and have followed thru on one part of solution.  I will follow thru on another part of the solution also.  My HP rode back home with me in my truck and is close now as I sit and report...I feel HP is anxious to talk and so am I.  Another part of the solution is proper amends...no reservations or attempts to save my ass while attempting to save my face at the same time.  I have some resentments to cross over because they are near justifications for unacceptable reactions...behaviors.  

Would I rather be happy or would I rather be right?  Heard that in a recent meeting on happiness.  I have to upchuck some ego  and pride to get to happy. 

Grateful for your support and feedback gonna give HP more time to nap before I knock on the door.    (((((hugs))))