The material presented
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Okay so I wanted to share my progress. I have been trying to work this program and reading up on self-help books to help me detach with love and not be codependent. Yesterday my A decided that he wanted to go to visit some friends and drink all night. I did not argue and he stated that he had a ride. I was not giving him one because I decided not to be his taxi anymore. Well, he went and by 2am he had not returned home. I figured his ride must have fell through and resisted the urge to call him. By 3:30 he was calling me and I was sound asleep and I did not hear the phone. (I was actually sleeping good!) Finally, about 5am I heard and answered the phone. My A was completely drunk and babbling on about the ride home not showing up. I just said "yeah that is awful" but never offered to come get him. I followed the advice in the books pretty well and told him I was in bed and sleeping that I am not going to get him. He finally tried to use sympathy and said "well I could just walk" (this is a 20 min drive so I knew this was a ploy to get me to come get him.) He said he just wants to come home using more sympathy. I stood my ground and told him "good night, I love you" and offered him advice to just go to sleep and his friend can bring him home when they sober up today. Afterwards, I went back to bed. I resisted the same feelings of guilt and the need to go get him. I expected that he would call back but he didn't.
Nice to hear about your progress. Glad you were able to take care of yourself and get good sleep. We really can begin to feel better when we stop enabling, let go and let god and return our focus to our own needs. It sounds like you're making progress with not allowing his disease to control you and are leaving him in the hands his own higher power. Thanks for sharing your recovery. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Powerful example of self-care and establishing boundaries that kept you in your own hula hoop and your comfy bed, too! I'm glad you got a good night sleep. I had to laugh at the "Yeah - that's awful" and I'm still laughing. Good work, C!!!!
