(((Dear Cathy)))

Breathe deeply, stay within this moment,say the serenity prayer and believe deep within that HP has your back.   Keep it simple,remember to put first things first ( you and your mental health being first things.)  and that all things are possible for those who believe.

Make your asset list:  you are an intelligent, professional woman who has a career with a promised pension and  a 401 K.  You can plan and handle difficulities and choose a new direction if you like.    Using the tools you will be fine.   

Stay here and share as you are not alone

This will ultimately result in greater serenity I hope. Sorry for the turmoil.

I hope so too PC....

Thank you guys this has to be it. I have to be done. I have to make a change no matter what happens. I'm looking at apartments...yuck....working on a budget and boy am I going to be broke. I have to get rid of this Cadi ( but HOW ? ).....way to much money to be spending each month on a car but I own so much on it nobody will buy it. I can make it though and in a year and a half I will have more money because my personal loans will be paid off....the money I have spent on my son and still paying for .....another yuck.

I have never had to be worried when it came to money so for me to budget is going to be a new lesson to learn. I have never lived alone so that is going to be a new experience. So many things going through my head....

Doubt and "I can do this " all rolled up into one little bundle.

What comes to mind.... I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired with MY LIFE.

I need to take care of me......Please HP give me the strength and courage to change.

You are in my prayers. You are strong!

Stay strong, Cathy! I have seen a few houses for rent in my area that go for around $1100 a month and that's not much more than an apartment. Also, I saw a town home in Arrowhead for rent that was around $850 a month and was right off the 101.

Also, I agree with Paula, take action slowly and carefully. And, do yourself a favor and breathe and pray when you get a chance. Sending you love and hugs tonight. Also, let me know if you need anything, I'm just a few miles down the road!

Good for you, its best not to take action during the high anxiety stage I think.x

You've just experienced a very traumatic life change concerning your son.  It's been overwhelming.  You're vulnerable right now.  When I was experiencing a threat to the loss of my home, I was in a very vulnerable place emotionally.  In that state of mind and spirit, I became an easy dumping ground for the other's blame, unacceptable behavior and actions and my own ability to make clear decisions was clouded by the emotional pain I was experiencing.  I wanted to just flee rather than fight for my rights.  I shared in the rooms and am grateful today for a member who hooked me up with a housing attorney and another person who directed me to free legal help. 

You may very well be right that it's time to sever this arrangement but the house although unpaid for is your future money in the bank.  I would ask myself if I am responding or reacting.  Lots of strength can be gained from the shares at our meetings and the power of putting our traditions into action.  An honest examination of my motive can help me when making big decisions.  Please don't let any other person devalue you through their intimidation or bullying.  We don't have to allow ourselves to get sucked into believing that our worth as people is tied to our finances.  It's a lie that society tells us and imposters in our life who "love" us conditionally. 

You've come upon a financial roadblock but you're already thinking of things you might do - for instance the car.  You may be better off somewhere else but when YOU are ready.  Legally, it isn't so easy to just oust someone from their home.  That process takes time.  I hope you'll keep getting more knowledge about your options and make the decision that best honors you.  (((((hugs)))))  You are in my thoughts and prayers as is your son.   TT

-- Edited by tiredtonite on Saturday 26th of April 2014 09:14:00 AM

cathy it really was the learning how to do one day at a time that got me thru all that bs. I learned to do what I could each day and then put it back on the shelf and did what I wanted to do. We can only do so much and worrying does nothing positive.

I know you will be ok. It is still scarey though. If you can think the way of ok I did everything on my list, am done today so I am going toa  movie or going out with friends etc.

you are doing well. soon you are going to feel all your strength again. hugs, debilyn

 

 

I got to inventory the situation and event better before I take action.  What is my part in it? is the question that I much ask myself with the intention of replying honestly and then go from there.  I don't do things well when I am reacting and out of control.  At that time I am not being fair to myself or anyone else.  "Don't React" !!  missed that one today and the shockwaves are still moving outward.  Initial consequences are not good...gonna spend time with my sponsor tomorrow and my event happened after I had planned that meeting.  The opposite of fear is love...remember to get back into love.   ((((hugs))))

You're loveable to my way of seeing, (Cathy). I did laugh though when I read your last sentence - but I see you were laughing, too - so, we're laughing together.  

My thing is to throw my hands up in the air literally and say "That's it.  I'm done.  I quit."  Then, I don't quit.  I generally find a new way to handle something.  Fortunately, I quit is usually just said around one person who isn't going to hold me accountable because they know I'm probably not going to quit and I'll find a new way to handle something.  But first - I just have to start with my "routine." 

You're doing what you need to do for now - gathering facts, sharing your progress, and waiting for the next step to reveal itself to you.  Good for you.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 28th of April 2014 09:38:22 PM