The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have realized that what I am trying to control is all of the people who want to control me into being who they want me to be.
Confusing, right?! Like, wait...let me read that sentence again.
When you're a people-pleaser your whole life, it's not comfortable to a lot of people when we stop.
THIS is really what all the gossip and slander I deal with is about. It's a way for others to control me into staying sick and not changing.
OK, so I did all this work in recovery, I have all the information, this is like my MAIN truth...can anyone really stop me from being ME? Yes. I can! Only me!
And only I can ask God for the courage to be myself.
I wish you didn't feel slandered and gossiped about. Just for me, I start feeling sick when I even pay attention to that stuff. Screw those folks. Enjoy the ones that really love you just the way you are.
(((Mark)))
I was just remembering yesterday that the first truth I saw in my 4th step was "not everyone can like me".
Really? Not everyone can like me? Lol!
Some of us can be so sensitive and we're so afraid of being ourselves...we might put a good show of faith forward - but then we cave. That's an old story for me and it has to change!
I don't want to hurt anyone; I just want to help myself and others.
This growing stuff is not easy! Esp in the face of gross discouragement!!!
There is a Mama's and the Papa's song that is my theme song in this regard. I would post the u tube link but I am posting from my phone. This may seem sappy, but it helped me hold my head up high. Through coming out, leaving my ex A, my own recovery....I hope you make it your anthem too. Here are the lyrics:
"Make Your Own Kind Of Music"
Nobody can tell ya
There's only one song worth singing
They may try and sell ya
Cause it hangs them up
To see someone like you
But you gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along
You're gonna be nowhere
The loneliest kind of lonely
It may be rough going
Just to do your thing's the hardest thing to do
But you've gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along
So if you cannot take my hand
And if you must be going, I will understand
You gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along
You gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind music
Even if nobody else sings along
I learned that there are two things people are really saying no matter how many words they use: I love you or help me. All the rest of the words truly don't matter unless we ascribe a meaning to them other than I love you or help me. Good that you know that you can sing your own song of love in the way that fits you, WTI. Only people who don't love themselves gossip or slander. Isn't it good to know there is help out there for them, too? Maybe one day they will be singing their own love song, too?
G2B
That is VERY wise
This has occured to me before.
There must B lotta folks need help!!!!!!!
But sometimes we gotta get out the way too
Like in certain groups or places where people just wanna see how much abuse 1 person can take.
I choose to mostly leave situations like that and those folks be on their own path
Eventually they will have to feel all the feelings they cause others to feel
I can only help people who are willing
I have no time for kindergarten games anymore!!!!!
I'm glad you're doing what you need to do for you and letting the others twist in the wind until they're ready for help with their own pain. I'm with Kenny. Looks like you just wrote your own song.
