The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I met with a friend last night for dinner. I guess she's more of an acquaintance. I met her when I was taking a class and we've stayed in touch. I don't know... I left feeling uncomfortable and just not good with myself and where I am at this time. I felt like I was sitting in a high chair with a sippy cup across the table from her if you understand what I mean. It was one of those compare and dispair things concerning my work. I realize this is about me and not her. I felt that old acoa shame envelope me when I shared with her and flew into that apologetic people pleasing mode when she crossed a boundary. I didn't want to be perceived as not being "nice." I had no reason to apologize for telling her I thought her question was "kind of personal." She then defended that she didn't think it was a personal question and then gave me permission not to answer it if I didn't want to. How magnanimous. It was about my bf's my living situation and finances. I found myself sucked in and I answered her question which was a major slip in my program. I really have nothing to prove to this woman - whatever choices I and my bf make is our business. I'm going to use this experience as a good exercise in preparedness for upcoming interviews lol. Anyway... I need to be mindful that despite all the self esteem crushing that's going on in my workplace, my worth hasn't changed. I need to observe others objectively and be mindful not to measure myself against them. Thanks for letting me share. It's been good for me to reason this out. TT
__________________
Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Oh how those familiar feelings creep back in to say hello...though, now, they, too are mere acquaintances and you demonstrated a great example of that Great boundary strengthening in the moment, don't you love when that happens?
I edited twice..when I use my IPAD and it autocorrects, I sound like I need the rooms of AA, too!!!! I proofread, but I am suspecting it continues to autocorrect after I hit "submit"
-- Edited by PP on Wednesday 16th of April 2014 08:43:34 AM
-- Edited by PP on Wednesday 16th of April 2014 09:19:53 AM
((TT)) I can relate to those moments and my walking away wondering why I did or said something that was uncomfortable. I never seem to run out of opportunities for practicing something! Please be gentle with you.
Great boundary strengthening in the moment, don't you love when that happens?