Before I Landed at MIP, I was 110% Focused on SOLELY My Family... I Absessed over My Husband, My Son, My Brothers, My Sisters, Mom, Dad, My MIL, My SIL, My Neices, My Nephews How they were Being Raised, Was they Being Taking Care of, Did I have to Go Speak to their Parents (Like I was Queen of the Crop on Making Decissions!) :/ NOT... I was So Wrapped up in their Life, So Unsure of myself that I Would do Anything Ask of Me, whether insanity or otherwise... Now don't get me wrong I Have No Regrets Giving the Support, and Even recieved it in return, but the Crazier their Life got... The Crazier mine got! and at the Speed we were all going... I was Just Praying for a Crash to End it! Then I Came Here!!!

I Just Lost My Dad to this Disease, I am Surrounded by A's, 4 siblings, my mom, my step dad, my friends, step son, step daughter, nephews, & that also Included Being one Myself! I have Walked this Disease at Some Level My Entire Life, and Yet! Here I am... 3+yrs Sober, 5+yrs in the Program...

Al-Anon Allowed me to "Make that Date" with the Girls, It Allowed me to say YES to my SIL When she Needed company on a Girls Beach weekend (I Would have NEVER Done that before) I have Learned that My Feeling Matter, even if the A's in my life are to sick to see it! I don't have to have a Blow up in order to Plead my Case, I can Just Calmly Exit the Room without a Word and there isn't a Damn thing they can do about it! And i Love it...I Learned that I DO have Passions :) MANY Really!

I took My Harley out yesterday for about 125 miles, it was Amazing... Its funny really how HP Works for Me! When I 1st get on my Bike It takes me awhile to Embrace my Surroundings, I Find I Keep my Guard up alot due to Normal Everyday Insanity, so I need about 20 miles to clear the space between my ears...lol... But then All the Beauty of the World Comes to Life for me! My Whole Day is Changed, just by taking the time to BREATHE! Listening Only to My Heart Beat, and the Sound of Nature unfolding around me as My Pipes Hummm.... Just Too Hear No One Elses Noise in my Head is Amazing! And RARE!

So Worth the Time to just Steal those 4hrs, and Know that HP had me in Cruise Control... I Seen Deer, Hawks, Horses, Cows, Dogs, Ducks, Birds of Many Kinds. I Traveled Smooth Roads, Gravel Roads, bumpy roads, all by the Grace of God, Seen some Beautiful Country I hadn't seen in probably 2 decades... It Helps My Soul to Know there is Still Old Back roads to Run too... Life gets so Busy at times I Forget they are there waiting on Me to Enjoy them...

My Son Just Got his Licenses so I Forsee Much more days or evennings in these moments... HP has Given My Heart Peace when it Comes to My Son! He is My Only Child, and As Much as I would LOVE to Keep Him My Little Baby Boy forever, one day Mom is going to take a Back Burner to some Hottie and that's Fine... I Know he Has a Good Head on His Shoulders, and I don't ever Want him to Feel that He has to "Take Care of Mom" (Like I Thought I Had to do All My Life) I want him to See I Will be Here, but I Will Also Be OK! So Me & HP Have been Staying Busy so as I Don't Get on the Self Inflicted Crazy Train! :/ So Far I have Found a Nice Balance! Its Nice to Know I can Take it One Day at A Time and Not Fear! Thanks HP :D

So My Fellow Nonners... :) That Moment When You Think It Just Can't Get Better! Grab your CAL, Grab your Phone, Work Your Program, Cause when you Stop Obsessing about them, it opens the Door for you to Start Obsessing about YOU! And you All Are Amazing... Cause without you all... I Would still be Cruising the Crazy Train... Thank You for Being Here! :)

Thanks for Letting Me Share :) KEEP COMING BACK!

Friends in Recovery...

Jozie