The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been separated from my AH for awhile. He filed for divorce saying I was crazy and would have anxiety attacks. Which I did I can admit to that. It was awful living with an alcoholic. I felt crazy all the time. He has a new girlfriend and sent me a text stating that he was doing so much better without me in his life. So the realization of getting divorced has settled in. I am sad about it but I do not have anxiety attacks and I have more positive friendships now. We never had any children and I have been praying to HP if I should stay in the city I live in. I feel the desire to start new I don't want to be around things that remind me of him. I have been applying online for jobs in major cities in my state. I still fight the dilemma of leaving or not my mother and sister are here. And all the wonderful friends I have met through the program. I am applying in two major cities I know a few program women in. When I talked to my sponsor she asked me if I was running away. I thought about it but I don't think I am. I have always wanted to live in a major city and experience life outside my little town. I had applied several times throughout my marriage but my AH would always discourage me. I would allow his fears to become mine and we never advanced in our careers or relationships. Now I know better than to let that happen again.
Well for me I moved away from the area I was raised in. I was actually getting away from my Mom, so I guess I was running away from her. Then I moved to the Alaska Bush for many years. And then I moved to the City 90,000 people. I knew I was ready for shopping, symphony, plays, the arts, restaurants, real bookstores, churchs, new people, new energy....it was a great move......I believe it gives you a new perspective. And no one says you can't come back if you chose! I kept my home in the bush, so I can always go back or spend some time there. I left options for myself. ...... in support og
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
I'm probably not the best person to comment on this one, since I typically emigrate after each break-up. It certainly helped me move on faster, but the problem was also that in running off to a new place with new people, I was running away from facing all those things about myself that kept me picking unhealthy partners! Ultimately those things all piled up on me like a train wreck when I stopped moving around long enough. I'd like to think next time I will have al-anon and codependency step work to keep it real, if I do flee again. Good luck with your decision. You are already mindful of Al-Anon, so that's a great thing to have with you, whether you stay or go.
More importantly is to stay with Alanon. Since you have to ask the question of staying or going, you may not be ready.
Motive is the most important to ask ourselves.
Good luck with your decision. You are already mindful of Al-Anon, so that's a great thing to have with you, whether you stay or go.