truth or lies - Al-Anon Family Group

hopes314 · Senior Member

truth or lies

SerenityRUS · ~*Service Worker*~

There is a religious based program called celebrate recovery that is church based. If he's not ready for recovery there will be another reason why it won't work. What are you doing for you and your recovery? Hugs :)

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

There are programs that do identify Jesus as their HP. He could go to one of those programs.

The disease is never conquered - just pretty much put in remission if someone is willing to stop drinking and surrender to their powerlessness over it.

I learned with my As that it didn't matter what I said or did, if they wanted to drink and drug, they were going to drink and drug.

I'm sure there are folks who will say they were able to stop drinking and stay stopped in ways other than AA or another program based on the 12 steps although I haven't met any. Research has revealed that there is some success with therapy and a new drug on the market - maybe that is so.

To me, the most effective method of treatment for me who is affected by alcoholism although I am not an alcoholic is Al-Anon. In it, I have learned the ways I contributed to this disease and the ways I can arrest its progression in me utilizing the 12 steps, our literature, having a good sponsor, and the fellowship. I let my AS find his own way because it is his life and because I learned I was powerless over him and the ways the disease progresses in him. My understanding of my HP changes as I change in this program and so does my understanding of truth.

Keep coming back.

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

That's certainly a twist on the usual complaint, which is that AA is too religious. (What it is actually is "spiritual," but of course some meetings will turn out more explicitly religious/spiriitual than others.) My A refused to go because he said it was too much like the Jesus-focused church he hated when he was a kid. Two people refusing to go for opposite reasons, LOL! So many ways they lie to themselves.

The truth is that if they don't want to become sober, they will find any excuse on earth. What we can do is to focus on our own recovery -- then we can find peace regardless of their chaos. I hope you'll try out some Al-Anon meetings?

-- Edited by Mattie on Wednesday 9th of April 2014 10:27:40 PM

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

Hope,

AA and Alanon are spiritual programs. He can certainly identify his HP as Jesus- I know many in AA who do. I also know some in AA that are agnostic and have determined that their HP is nature. I agree that AA is about the fellowship, learning coping skills, and developing a strong relationship with their HP. I have heard some rumors in the rooms about an isolated case here or there about someone working a recovery program that is not AA. I don't know if this is true or not true.

Please forgive me if I'm out of line, but his comment resonates as an excuse not to go. Also, I lovingly trust that you did not loose your position regarding AA, but rather, his disease was not open to the idea. The disease speaks and protects itself and it's not personal.

MeTwo2 · ~*Service Worker*~

One Authority; a Loving God .. Expressing .. One Authority Many different perceptions ..

milkwood · ~*Service Worker*~

I don't think you can argue with that kind of logic!

Great to hear that you went to such a good meeting, I hope you keep doing things that enhance and inspire you.

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

He might like celebrate recovery better - that is actually more religious. There are also MANY Christian based rehabs. Seriously - sounds like you are only getting excuses.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Celebrate Recovery works for my husband...I can be at any meeting and get something out of it. I prefer those that have a more openness in their beliefs/knowings and I can accept those that don't, as long as there are no exclusionary games that occur. He is giving you excuses, but you probably already knew that smile

ilovedogs · ~*Service Worker*~

As others have said, it sounds like an excuse. My AH has said similar things but when a pastor told him to try Celebrate Recovery, he said he would go and then balked for whatever reason. He wasn't ready for recovery, whether it be AA, Celebrate Recovery, or when Pigs Fly Recovery. Keep doing the next right thing for you and focus on your recovery, that was the best advice I was ever given in program.

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

He will be ready in his time, I used to try so hard to talk my AH into recovery and just in the last few years has he even softened to it and reads some AA materials. Sending you love and support!

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Hope it just does not matter what he believes or does not believes. Your program is your own.

You do not have to feel you lost anything as talking to the A about AA is not our job. That is such a heavy thing to try to do and impossible! It is totally up to him to go to AA or whatever or not.

Again it is simply none of our business.

We learn to stick on our own side of the street, we let go and let our HP take care of others. This is how we find comfort in staying with an A if we choose to. If you live with an A, you get along so much better not trying to be a part of "their" recovery. If he has questions, he has fingers, he can call an AA hotline or go online.

I encourage you to go to Al Anon and if you choose to open AA. I felt so darn free when I stopped being my AH's counselor, so free not to be part of his disease. All I had to do was love him, and make our relationship as good as I could, and funny thing, he did for awhile too.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.