Sometimes I come to give back and sometimes I come and lurk to fill my tank back up and sometimes both. I don't always have it to give and that is okay, we are all here and doing what we need to do to recover, whatever that looks like. Sending you love and support!

Cathy you are doing exactly what you need to be doing right now. You are rebuilding mental strength and for that you need peace and quiet and avoidance of turmoil. Just as a broken bone needs time and patience and rest to set, so do fractured emotions. Your brain is facing the hard stuff and insulating you from too much emotion until you are ready. For this time, you have given all you can give and now...take a break and just live minute to minute.

Oh Cathy, I totally hear you. I went awol for 5 years myself! Just felt I couldn't relate and help as much when my situation changed and then got all caught up in other things and the time just passed. Now I'm back again and wondering why I ever left. lol But we do what we need to do at the time we need to do it. Refocusing in changed circumstances sure can be difficult at times! The one phrase that sticks in my head from the question you asked yourself is: Get out of him and get into you. Happiness is an inside job. I've been house-sitting these past 6 months. and other than the animals, I am all alone here. I realized it is the first time I've been totally alone in all my 50 something years. And I find it has been wonderfully pleasant. I can sit and do my crochet work or watch TV or take the dog for a walk along the shore or go thrift shopping or whatever I want when I want! Wow! And if I need people, I can pick up the phone, go into chat, call the neighbor or chat with a shopkeeper in town. Guess it all comes down to adjustments. But then, that's life.

I understand Cathy! Like BF said, there are times when I just come on to read and there are times when I come to provide support. That's what makes this a beautiful place of support for all of us. Sending you virtual hugs today!

Cathy: For me every day is different. Sometimes I feel like you do even though I am not in your situation.

You don't always have to be right on. I think we all have bad days that seem like we have nothing to offer.

We always can be good listeners & just soak it all in.

Kathleen

I don't always have it to give either. I think that it is so healthy to admit it and not try to push beyond your own limits, Cathy. That's the old way of being. Honoring ourselves and our own limits is the new way of being. As far as your son and his future - well, I've had people tell me my son wasn't going to make it because he was "too tortured." Well, he's still here and still trying to make something new of his life. We just don't know what will happen with our children and nobody else does either. What we do know is that we can love them, pray for them, and trust their HP to be with them in ways we simply can't be.

(((Cathy))

You have given me ESH in some of my darkest moments. Don't think for a minute that you aren't being of service. We all have times where we feel spent and that's when we hold each other up.