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I made the decision to let my 5 year old live by her dad around Christmas time. I was in my clinical and had exams every other day, with work and her coming home from school everyday crying, meeting with the principle twice and hearing them say my kid was a problem, I just wanted to remove her from that school! I may have had other options, but in the heat of everything that was on me I chose to let my exAH have her. He is dry for the most part and had two slips that he has confessed. I am sooo missing my little one and wishing I had made a different decision. I am bored at night and just want to cuddle with her so bad! I want an excuse to go get her, but it just isn't fair to her, to switch schools again because this semester I am not in clinical and have more time to think and plan things out. I do not believe she would adjust well to another school change with her personality honestly. I am having remorse big time though and that could be more about my over eating emotionally lately and me needing to work out so much to burn my added frustration. I am just starting to dig this out and look at it. It seems to run deep and June is so far away when I get her back! So please send me some ESH, prayers and love.
-- Edited by Breakingfree on Thursday 3rd of April 2014 10:23:55 PM
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
(((BF))) Sending lots of prayers for warmth, wisdom, courage, and serenity. It's so natural that you miss your daughter! Can you facetime or skype with her? Given the circumstance, why not take this opportunity to focus on yourself and use the time for something amazing... whatever that means for you. Also, maybe plan for something to celebrate her return. Time will pass quickly and your daughter will return to a happy, healthy Mom!
Sometimes we need a break. I know when I have been overwhelmed with single parenting I have wished for alone time. Then I get it and I can't stand the quiet in the house. Hugs, it will be okay, trust HP and try to use the time to heal. This too shall pass.
I really feel for you, and all of us, many times in life we are faced with these unsettling dilemmas of some sort, it is so troubling and worrying for a time, and so it has to be too, your doing the best you can with what you have now and are dealing with it the best way you know how, and recognising your coping skills that maybe you are out growing , that is progress my friend, big hugs to you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I fall into patterns of over-eating, compulsive exercising - I have random funks where it seems like something should be different. I wonder if some of this is just life. It beats where we were right? At least we are questioning our motives and trying to make up for or minimize our character defects instead of stumbling along blindly like before we had a program.
June is really not too far away. I think you might have uncovered the reason for the over eating and exercise. The 3 As suggests that we sit with the awareness and acceptance of a situation and then take the action . In this case I think the action might be simply talking about it and praying.
June will be here in a blink. Prayers for your peace
June is coming , June is coming! sit through this and get yourself prepared for when your little one is coming home. Work on a surprise, a little welcome, something you plan together and sit and breathe. and enjoy your alone time, it's special time. Treat yourself well, pamper yourself how you would like to pamper your little oneand June is coming in a blink.
we are here with you. prayers your way.Patience and Courage too.
hug, big big hug
I so understand the longing, the loneliness and the void. You will move through this because you have a strong program. By the way, your avatar is beautiful. Holding you up, BF.
What worked for me when missing my kids in a shared-parenting scenario, was working on seeing them whenever I could (which involved me being more pushy than I am comfortable with), but during the times I got morose about it - usually late in the day or evening when I was exhausted - I would try to do something for myself, or just think kind things about myself. That is, I tried not to make my happiness depend on what my kids were doing, or whether I was with them or not.
Good luck with it all and I hope you can come to an arrangement you feel better about, soon.
. I think you might have uncovered the reason for the over eating and exercise. The 3 As suggests that we sit with the awareness and acceptance of a situation and then take the action . In this case I think the action might be simply talking about it and praying.