The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Had a terrible night last...after returning home from having coffee with a close friend my AH was home drunk and my son bought a case of beer and drank them all after being sober for close to 2 months. I realize the potential for him to slip was going to be a reality when he returned home from treatment and continued his old behaviours, seeing the same friends that were unhealthly...etc. I guess what surprised me was that he cut himself again last night with his knife so I had to take him to the hospital for stitches, (he has been cutting himself for a long time and I didn't know it was intentional til we took him to treatment). I called my neighbours over to help me because my AH wasn't any support at all last night...I'm feeling very alone this morning, scared and not sure what to do!
Do I call a counsellor, his doctor, do I try and help my son with a psychiatrist? What do I do with my marriage, I have no support from him because at this point he drinks pretty much every day, and has been doing this probably for the last 3-4 years now. I don't want to get sick myself and actually am probably sicker than the two of them put together! I am so angry at my AH and my heart breaks for my son...I want to just run away!! The atmosphere in this house is not good, last night I ended up yelling and scolding both of them! How stupid is that!! I'm also angry that I feel like I'm the only one willing to reach out and get help, that I desperately need!
i am very grateful for this site as we live in the country and the closest meeting to me is 45 minutes away, so I am able to release some resentments and fears! It does help to know I am not alone in this disease of uncertainty, insanity and chaos! And thank you to all who respond...it really helps me and makes a difference!
I have to travel 45 minutes for my weekly meeting too, but I know when I get there it is well worth it. I have a counselor and a sponsor that help me through the heat of my life right now, which helps a lot. I am glad you have MIP and hopefully you can read some al-anon and find your serenity today. Sending you love and support!
-- Edited by Breakingfree on Tuesday 1st of April 2014 09:18:02 AM
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
How could you be more overwhelmed by this disease?? I will pray for you. This must be total chaos, with AH active, and AS trying to recover. In addition to his unhealthy friends, he has an extremely unhealthy dad in the house!
The only ESH I have is to keep coming back, and try to get to an Al Anon meeting. The 45 minute drive might be worth it just to have an excuse to get out of there for awhile. You already know that you can't control or cure it, so getting out of there for a while could be a great present to yourself. You need and deserve something!
Thank you and you are right...45 minutes is well worth my time! I appreciate all your love and prayers. My AH just informed me this morning that he was done drinking and is going to a meeting as well, that's a good choice because I know I can not live with 2 active alcoholics and I may have to leave to save myself. And today, unlike in the past, I would leave! This is one boundary that came to mind this morning and I have to start drawing my lines in the sand.
I am also going to a meeting tonight, somewhere, will drive an hour if I have too! It's time to look after me...what a liberating feeling that I have not felt for a long time! We all hit a bottom last night and for me it is time to look after myself and I hope and I pray the other two do the same!!
It sounds like your life has been hijacked by your family. I recognise the manipulative tactics used by both your son and husband. Its good that you recognise your own part in this, we who live with alcoholism do become sick, its a killer disease. Your life does not have to be this way, you can seperate yourself from them, you can gain your own identity seperate from the role you play here. You can gain enough self esteem and self love to put up clear boundaries to stop them walking all over the top of you. Alcoholics are very good at this. They will take and take until there is nothing left if you let them. Your sons cutting himself sounds like a terrible experience to go through. I dont have much experience with self harm but if its a control tactic it is a cruel one thats for sure. Alanon will help you, its the only thing that helped me.x
