Up's and Down's - Al-Anon Family Group

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Up's and Down's

mm830 · Senior Member

Cathy you have had a hard week, hugs and some soft Kleenex to wipe the tears. Keep praying, we are all with you.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

So you are not going to see him in jail?

Yes I sure am here for you. IF you want my phone number I am open to mouth to mouth sharing! wait ear to ear...geez.

HE IS fine.

I invite you to say in your head, HE is ok. simple. also an I am ok works too! maybe cont. to look at what you have. home, heat, kitties, you are very pretty and smart as heck.

You and grateful, Catherine need to fly here and come veg on my little place. I can cook for you both. YOu both need tlc! hugs friend!

I would be happy to pen pal with your son if that would be ok and if he wanted it. hugs again

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

I think he would enjoy hearing from anyone at this point. I will send you where he's at.

Wouldn't it be great to come and visit. I would love you see your family ( pets ) and rest in such a beautiful place. AZ is a little sparse in foliage.

((( hugs )))

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

(((C)))

As far as Debilyn's invite to both of us - thank you, Debilyn. I can't talk for Cathy, but I can talk for me. I'd say you are also in need of some TLC. These past several months have been so difficult for you. I consider it an honor to be invited. And it would be fun to be there with you, Cathy, and all your sweet little guys and gals, too. Thank you for such a sweet, sweet offer.

tiredtonite · Veteran Member

You sound better cathy as better as anyone can be when this change of events is so new. It's not forever. It's a time out for him and for you. No one but his hp knows if he would have made it on the streets but the odds aren't great that he would have. I've heard people in AA use the term self will run riot. Your son has a chance now. He might even get early release if he's cooperative. It's so hard to settle into a sad turn of events but there will be less chaos for you with your son in the care of others and his own hp. When my exah went to long term rehab for a year, I was terribly lonely but also relieved to have him in someone else's hands. I had no alanon when he went away but was introduced to the program by his rehab. I honestly began to appreciate the freedom that came with no longer running to rescue him. My anxiety lessened and that knot that always sat like a rock at the center of my breast bone went away. We have a right to feel well, Cathy. Keep taking good care of you as you ease into acceptance of what is for now. (((hugs)))) TT

-- Edited by tiredtonite on Saturday 29th of March 2014 10:50:05 PM

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

All this time reading your posts (which I enjoy even though I hate the pain you've endured), I have thought "I wonder if I could do an intervention on her son"...."I wonder if I could just slap him into reality." I've thought your son has some serious major depression (bipolar maybe also) and he is getting "no help" because no meds or treatment work when drinking like he does and I doubt he will even take meds when drinking. I've thought if he would sit his ass in one place and just take his meds consistently and not drink for a few months and go to meetings, his whole outlook will change. Currently, he is so depressed (has been for a while) that he stops drinking and depression hits him in the face so hard he it's like literally being tortured. I can sort of understand that...actually I really do understand it in many ways because I lived it (though now quite as low a bottom).

So yeah...It's been frustrating just reading some of it Cathy. It sounds to me like he's a complicated dually diagnosed alcoholic. But the solutions (like they are for all of us) are simple if he can muster enough spiritual strength to stay in the solution.

I also know my thoughts and desires to "make him realize" anything are futile and just cuz I want his mother to not endure this and I hate seeing another alcoholic still sick and suffering. Some of it's my own CODA stuff. I can't fix him any more than you.

Praying he finds serenity and some answers from his HP. At least he's safe for now.

AngelicH57 · Senior Member

{{{{ Hugs}}}}

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Pickchip

You nailed it on the head. The cycle would have never quit unless he was literally confined. Now he is but will he find the strength to come to terms with it and get help. Only time will tell. He needs a whole lot of time to even get sober enough for his mind to start working again. Not one month, not two but many months I'm sure. I pray he will get some help inside and not just rot in prison. He has counseling assigned...he told me that but will they help him. I just don't know that much about prison rehab and will they care enough to help somebody or just go through the motions.

I do know my son is model inmate material. He is a yes sir no sir kind of person. He is very scared of being hurt and will keep his place. In jail he was protected by another in charge inmate because my son was so nice. Got his hair cut ahead of others because he was liked. Needed to look good for court. His personal belongings were stolen one time and the inmate went nuts getting them back for my son. Was this guys partner playing cards. Just a little of what my son did to cope.

I have sad moments but most of the time just coping without fear and worry. I excepting more everyday.

((( hugs )))

mm830 · Senior Member

Re what pinkchip about the depression, I am amazed with the right meds how my bipolar son has turned around. However, off of them or if there is any skipped dosages his behavior becomes very erratic. Something to consider, they often self medicate if they aren't treated. Continued prayers to you and your family.

-- Edited by mm830 on Sunday 30th of March 2014 12:09:35 PM

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.