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Normally, when I want to scream, I'll do it. Scream come on out.
But I'm having one of those days where an employee is making me completely bonkers (she's an alcoholic, so no surprise there.) I hear more and more news about her manipulating and doing stuff on the sly and I just want to SCREAM. But screaming in an office setting is not appropriate. I don't need to scare the bajeezus out of everyone here just because I need to let out some pent-up frustration.
So, my question to you all is - what do you do when you have that feeling of really NEEDING to scream but you are in an environment where it would be extremely inappropriate to do? How do you let out that energy so it doesn't stay inside and eat at you?
In the interim, I know I'm only making myself crazy because I'm wanting an alcoholic to behave in a certain way, and of course, it's not surprising that she is NOT behaving the way I'd want her to. So I don't fully blame her for how I feel, but I DO want to release the crap feeling I have so I can move forward with my day.
This might sound really corny. I went to a retreat last weekend and there was a workshop where the woman shared that she made a recording of affirmations and listened to it when she was going to sleep. She said she put Mozart music in the background of the affirmations because she read that we absorb the affirmations better when we are nearly drifting off to sleep when it has Mozart's music in the background of the affirmations.
Kind of a spin-off of her idea... I used the recorder in my phone to record a list of affirmations. The file is handy in my phone. Since I have made the recording, I have whipped out my phone and stuck headphones on my phone and played the affirmations. It has had a surprisingly calming affect and has been very effective - especially when I want to control my A. It only takes a minute to listen to and does wonders for my mind, body, and soul.
They are called "Affirmations that Make Life Work" and I found them in an AlAnon blog:
1) I like myself unconditionally and I enjoy being the unique person that I am.
2) I have ample leisure time and deserve to find, create and feel joy.
3) I am a fallible human being, who makes mistakes.
4) I am a worth-while and lovable human being.
5) I am completely self-determined and I give others that same right.
6) I am a unique and precious human being...doing the best I can, growing in wisdom and love.
7) I am in charge of my own life.
8) My #1 responsibility is my own growth and well-being. The better I am to me, the better I will be to others.
9) I make my own decisions and assume the responsibility of any consequences.
10) I am not my actions. I am the actor. My actions may be good or bad. That doesn't make me good or bad.
11) I do not have to prove myself to anyone. I need only to express myself as honestly and effectively as I am capable.
12) My emotional well being is dependent primarily on how I love me.
13) I am a kind and gentle towards me.
14) I live a day at a time, do first things first.
15) I am patient and serene for I have the rest of my life in which to grow.
16) Every experience I have in life (even the unpleasant ones) contribute to my learning and growth.
17) No one in the world is more important than I as a person.
18) I have a right to take my space in this world.
19) I am enough
20) I am loyal, forgiving and gentle to me.
21) I now choose to love, to accept, to embrace and to fully appreciate myself unconditionally.
22) I create my reality.
23) I have a Higher Power who loves me unconditionally.
It took a couple of minutes to record the affirmations in my own voice in my phone and it has been very handy having them readily available to me. Helps me to focus on myself in a positive way instead of on those things that I cannot control.
Aloha Westsider...When I got into your situation very often I'd take a break from the atmosphere and go somewhere I could tantrum...you know the kind you did as a child? Thats what I've done....jump up and down flapping my arms and fists, pumping my head and using "special" language. Took me about 10-15 seconds and then all was good with me. Doesn't change the other person one bit and then I'm good to go on with my day. Try it. (((((hugs)))))
A friend of mine taught me her "Quiet Scream" for times such as yours. She would sit in her chair or stand on it depending on where she was, open her mouth wide, scream with no sound, then sit back down and get to work. I tried it. It worked. It always made me laugh. I still do the quiet scream and put my whole body into it when I do. Of course - I make sure of where I am and who I'm with - but it sure releases tension without any backlash at all.
I break out in song....something positive that uplifts me....may not work in an office (maybe start humming along to your favorite song) but if you can get your mind off what is bothering you---that may do the trick.
I would suggest anything that tunes her out...coffee break, cigarette break---just a break. Well, just don't break any bones on her body!!! LOL
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
I try and just take 5 min for me and repeat a few slogans that are appropriate .. removing myself from the situation if it's possible to gain some quick perspective works wonders for me.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Yes not always appropriate to let out that scream!! I firstly count slowly to 10 and try to match my breathe to the slow count, if that does not work I try to walk away - the Serenity Prayer can work wonders I find
I went and asked my boss if I could close the door to my office over a co-worker. He said it was OK. Now she is upset about it because she knows it's because of her without even asking me. She knows what she does.....nothing more to say
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
There's this song I sing really quiet under my breath when things are happening around me that I don't like; it makes me smile inside, those who know me well enough grin when they hear it because they know what's going on and just that alone helps break the tension. Most memorable place I heard it is in the movie Breakfast Club when the stoner/hood guy, Judd Nelson, goes running off through the halls to draw the teacher to him and let the other kids get back to detention without getting caught. I wanna be an airforce ranger, I wanna live a life of danger.....
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
for your header, I was waiting to say- "just scream".