Morning - Al-Anon Family Group

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Morning

yanksfan51 · ~*Service Worker*~

Good Morning Cathy:

I loved reading about Nisa and the phone. Our pets are sensitive creatures aren't they? I can't imagine what you are going through and so will only offer that we are here with you. Praying for you and for your peace that HP has a plan and it is a perfect one.

(((((Cathy)))))

Mary

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Take good care, Cathy. I am happy you have that sweet kitty to soothe you last night.

mm830 · Senior Member

Morning Cathy, that's cute about Nissa and her toy. I am glad you are going to work, it will help you keep your routine and mind on something else. Please be kind to yourself right now. You did all you could. Will keep praying, HP has a plan here. Much love and peace.

Gaby · Senior Member

Cathy please always know your never alone even though at that moment we feel it. I know how you feel. My son is fighting his demons!! He is doing good and working now and still has a roof over his head and I pray he continues that path. But he too hit his bottom hard!! I pray this is it. I still feel numb of all we go through with our AA children. But I know now we have no control of there choices. Cathy I wish I was right there with you because at times like these we hate being alone. You know he is safe and not homeless. Just know your not alone. Many prayers to you and your son. I too need them and so does my son. We love you and be easy and take care of you.

AngelicH57 · Senior Member

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((Cathyinaz))))) Malama Pono...take care..."abandon yourself to God as you understand God..." smile

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Cathy, you are allowed to be in active grief. I would be doing even worse if on e of my loved ones was in jail. You've done great work in alanon and it's not invalidated by you grieving and feeling shock, sadness and all those normal responses to this situation. Prayers and love to you!

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank god for work, its times like these where your work and routine keep you going. Good for you. You have the right to a good life, to take pleasure in life even during crisis points. Enjoy that cat.x

-- Edited by el-cee on Tuesday 25th of March 2014 01:46:09 PM

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

I have been working this morning really hard to try and keep my mind off of it. But as I sit here my hands are shaking and my anxiety the through the roof. I can just imagine what my son is going though. I'm glad a have the doctors appointment tomorrow.

1.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

(((C))) You've had a major shock. It will take time to work through it all one day at a time. I'm glad you went to work. I continue to put my son in a conscious way into his HP's hands and repeating that my HP loves my son even more than I do. It helps me return to focusing on myself and my day. I didn't get here in a day or a year or even two. It takes me daily effort with program work and my sponsor and the fellowship to stay focused on me and what I can change while still admitting it hurts to have such a sick child. The past is gone and can't be changed. The future is not here yet. Today is what is yours and your HP will give you what you need to have some peace in the storm of your feelings and fears. Many, many prayers for you and for him and I'm glad to see you have wrapped yourself in an afghan and maybe you can do that in your imagination with your son, too?

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Please forgive me for not responding yesterday. The withdrawal is the worst.

so if there is anywhere we can let it all out without thinking first it is here. Your vent was raw, real and beautiful. Took courage and great trust to do that here!

When we pray to hp for help with something, we don't get to decide what he will do.Most times it is totally nothing we thought of.

For you, that is your baby going to jail, not just a very sick young man. No it is not pretty, sadly inevitable. Again it will be up to him to take this experience and glean what he can IF he chooses to learn how to get on a program of recovery.

Maybe this is what he, that wonderful person he is inside,being held captive wanted. Many, many good people get incarcerated for addict behavior. In fact the majority of people behind bars are addicts.

Cathy I want to invite you to come out from under that blanket, eat healthy food, drink good water, take the vitamins you need. NOTHING hurts our bodies more than stress.

I know supporting myself when I am going thru something is the primary key.

I hope son is in jail. He is safe, if he chooses to be.This will give him a chance to hopefully sober up and make some good choices. It always helps me to say stop and put in everything is ok. for you, you know where he is, he cannot hurt anyone else, he will have his basic needs met without anyone enabling.

you have been given a blessing in a hard, hard situation. Does not seem like one, but it can be if you choose to look at it this way.

We need NEED lock up facilities for addicts, no question. However as strong as his disease is, this may be the only way for him to mature, and get the power back the disease took.Power meaning he can make his own choices,put one foot in front of the other.

MY experience is, I went and saw my AH in jail and prison. I was blessed to see the man I married when he was in jail.HE does 100% better incarcerated as those bars help him to stay on program. sadly when he stepped foot out, I lost him forever.

You may choose to glean every moment you can be with him. There is nothing wrong with that. If it were my son I would be visiting, have money in his account, if he chose to be appropriate I would make sure he had every comfort he could inside.

As being locked up in itself, is pretty horrible, to have some comforts is not going to make the experience positive. But may give him a small taste of what would make choosing being on program the best thing, and he will fight for it.

Every state is different, every jail/prison. I chose to advocate for my AH. Meaning when they stuck a many times murderer in with him, with no conscience, I called the prison, spoke to AH's counselor, shared my thoughts, and the guy was moved. We outside, their loved ones do have some power over their experience. I must tell you this is the time to take action and protect him as much as you can. Meaning make the prison care about him becuz he has ones on the outside who care very much and are not afraid to speak out. NO prison likes bad publicity, also there are people inside who will help him as much as possible.

I educated myself about the process, and how the prison ran. I learned what I had power over. I made myself known. In a very assertive/loving/gentle way.

Son has a disease, he is NOT a criminal.Incarceration is not the answer, however at this point this is all we got. I hope they do see thru his diseases bs and put him inside. My AH had over 8 dui's and served 2 years. It is sad he was brain compromised from brain surgery as he would have taken this and gotten back on program. I know as I was his other almost all my life.

So, I have rarely seen anyone develop a proglam of recovery and take it to heart as you do. /sometimes we don't even see the miracle we are.

Hp is hanging onto you, is begging you to let go and let him carry every singl bit of your concerns and pain.I am not a pussy footer, I know i need a good shove in the head too,john, betty and jerry have given me that gift many times inmy years here.

I am giving it to you. Sometimes we need to stand up and move our feet, concentrate on serenity prayer and MEAN it. Put your your life in each line. I have screamed it before CAthy for MILES.

Letting our A's go to do or be whatever they choose to is the BEST thing we can do to say to them,"I believe in YOU."

I invite you to do what you believe is right, this is the time to put yourself on your A's side.....JUST like a pillar him on one side, you on the other holding up one hope, for him to get into recovery and find HP.

hugs, I am always here, you can always call me too. Just ask.

Rose50 · Senior Member

Cathy - wish I was there to give you a big hug. Maybe it had to come to this for your son to reach his bottom.

You are not alone.

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