Hi Cathy

Im sad that your going through this. The fear is the worst part because I know when I get like that rational thinking goes out the window and the fear can escalate and before I know it Im thinking of every bad thing that could possibly happen. It sounds like you are doing all the right things to get it under control.

As an outsider looking in - no news is good news because if something bad had happened then you would know about it. There may be other reasons as to why you haven't heard from him or about him, he may be in a drunken stupor somewhere, most likely with other drunk people, relatively safe situation, he may be in a rehab and is not telling you due to his self pity or as a bit of a punishment for you for not rescuing him and taking responsibility for his actions. Remember, he has a higher power, he has his own survival instincts that he was born with. Lean on your higher power and have faith that everything that is happening is just as it is meant to be at the moment.x

Thank you guys

Being close here helps me and just to tell my story makes me feel better. I have tried to talk to my SO about it and he is just mad at me now. He is not help at all.

I all hear is F him.....what a jerk he is. I'm in hate right now and makes me more upset. I know it's not his problem but a little kindness would be nice but that's not going to happen. I will keep my mouth shut or I will have a problem here because he can't deal with anything......Just go back to sleep because that's what you do best.

Sorry for the vent but this is not easy but it will pass one way or another.

C: I've learned that the more somebody curses, the more pain they are in. You can't do anything about SO and his way of dealing with his own fear and sadness, but I'm glad you're here trying to do something about your own. My son's phone has been cut off many times. It has helped me to put him back safely into his HP's hands and admit I just don't know what is happening with him and don't have to scare myself by believing the negative stories my mind loves to tell me. It is very difficult not to know what is going on and sometimes it is better that we don't. Readings on fear in C2C were a big help to me. Maybe they can help you, too? Even if we don't know what is happening with our children - their HP does. They are never, ever alone.

Hi Cathy, I just remembered that one about visualizing wrapping him in a big cosy duvet and handing him to his higher power and ask for him to be looked after, then let him go. I know a member who actually has a miniature duvet and she uses that to hand over her daughter.x

The outcome we receive may not be what we want, but if we believe our HP does what is best for us and for our loved ones, then we can trust that whatever the outcome is, it is good. The 3rd and 11th Step has also been a big help to me, too, when my son has disappeared and there is no way to reach him.

 A Mother's Pain

Statistics says in terms of physical pain (some years ago), on the scale of 1-10, 10 is labor pain and men faint at 7. Whether this is fact or not, this describes physical pain in a type of measurement.

But a mother's pain cannot be measured on a scale or even by statistics, nor is this comparing men with women. The only one who can describe a mother's pain is a mother who has gone through or is presently going through a type of tragedy with her child.

How can we help this mother in this pain? What can we do to take it away or stop it, help to ease the pain, etc? You can't, there is nothing on "this earth" to help a mother in pain but a Higher Power who brings healing to the pain that's embedded in her heart. The pain does subside through healing. It does and will leave you to only leave a scar, a memory.

 

 

MIP women are special...angelic.  "Big boys don't cry and that's not true cause big boys who have come in touch with their female sides do...their emotional sides". I'm not ashamed now to be brought to tears by the way the woman's spirit works cause it was the women of Al-Anon that saved my life and re-parented me.  They use to say "Jerry F you're gonna have to get in touch with your female side" and then I would walk off and then I would guffaw and snicker and then I would have trouble breathing cause like Older Gal mentions (yeah we do dive at 7 on the feeling scale as least I use to).  My eldest son has relapsed.  That part of our family is in shambles to my wife and I and then maybe not for God's imagination.  I can picture the duvet and I will; one big enough to hold all of them.   My 4th step on my emotions revealed that FEAR was my greatest emotional character defect then and today I have two acronyms for FEAR which help me to let it be just an emotion and not a reality...False Evidence Appearing Real and then the flip side Face Everything And Recover.  I get to do the second one now on this post.  Mahalo...Thank you ladies.    (((((hugs)))))  

Prayers Cathy, I hope the morning is kind to you.