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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I feel like I can take my life back
Post Info TOPIC: I feel like I can take my life back
sadsusie


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I feel like I can take my life back
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I am so pleased today. I have had a handful of small challenges and I have reacted differently to them. I've been standing up for myself and standing my ground and doing what *I* want. 

I had secured a new place to live on Friday, so that was certainly a beginning. My AH broke our "deal" by being out all night. I saw him the next day when he came home and I locked my door and refused to talk to him. After 10 minutes of everything in the book from you "don't deserve this" to "you owe it to me" ...He finally ended up getting the door open so I instinctively got my purse and intended to leave cause I don't want to give him the time of day and there is no point in taking to a drunk. This has always been my habit - to run away...BUT THEN I STOPPED =). I said no way..this is my house too. YOU ARE GOING TO LEAVE ME ALONE! and he did....lol he went down stairs to turn some music up really loud (which he knows I hate) ..but when I did nothing..he left! HOORAY I got to spend a peaceful night (and I didn't even break my diet cause of the stress!)

I am so tired of being manipulated and manipulated and manipulated. 

So he was out all night again...So when he begged me to talk to him this morning. I said NO. I texted him letting him know what he already knows - to get help or he will die. I am no longer going to let him take me down with him. That YES I AM leaving. He continued to beg, and I stood firm. I am sorry you are hurting, but I do not want to talk. wow. what a relief. 

Eventually he made it home. I wanted to (not HAD to, WANTED) to run a quick errand. He had begged me to be home when he gets there cause "i make him feel better and he thinks he's gonna die yadda yadda" Normally I would wait with baited breath for him to return....WELL, guess what? I LEFT and ran my errand. When he got home he begged me again to come home... and I told him FORCEFULLY, NO! I will be home when I am DONE! HOORAY for taking my life back. I had no guilt, no remorse, no anger. I just did it. He wasn't gonna die, and if he was gonna die - there really wasn't much *I* could do about it! lol

Once I got home he begged and begged and begged, he would give me his wallet and his keys all the money if I would just not leave, he can't make it without me. I didn't even hesitate..NO, NO , NO. I repeated, I am LEAVING..and we can see what happens when you get sober and start working a program (or two). 

My favorite new phrase when he asks me things is "I don't know, I can't predict the future" 

I finally feel like I am living life on MY terms. Let hope it stays that way. It will be much easier since I am steadfast in my intent to move. 

Many Blessings



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Many Blessings,

"Sweet Susie"

 BEFORE-YOU-JUDGE-ME.jpgim in charge and I'm happypeople bring you down, you are above themresponsibilty for your energy
pinkchip


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Good taking care of you! Also great sticking to your boundaries.

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grateful2be


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smile Sounds like you have been listening long and hard to yourself, Susie!  Good job.



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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
Debilyn


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the smile you gave me is breaking my face! I am sooo glad you got to this point of recovery! you used skills at every turn.

Your post was inspirational.Also liked the"I don't know, I can't predict the future" so perfect, gotta remember that. Though in my experience the A never or rarely ever asked a question...

LOVE you got a new home to fix up! I am sure it will be a place of serenity and home!

No more wonder that he is up to, if he is ok, or is he coming home.

You made a boundary, had consequences and carried it out.Now he is sure you mean what you say, and YOU are too!

I invite you to maybe write down how all this feels, so when, and if you get weak or forget, you can drag it out, and how you got there. It sure has helped me in my journey to get over my grief depression!

hugs hugs hungs, thrivingSusie!



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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PP


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Can you hear me clapping??????



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Paula
Sweet Stanley


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Recovery is looking good on you!!!

 



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Sweet Stanley
John


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heck, I'm still a bit sick, I would have said, "Okay, give me your wallet under one condition... when I do go out, I get to spend all the money in it and on your card, agreed?  LOL

Your recovery is shining through in what I know to be a hard situation... it has met the test... and so have you!

John



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" And what did we gain?  A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."

(Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions,Step 3. pg 21)

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SerenityRUS


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"I don't know, I can't predict the future" - this is officially my new catch phrase for the next few weeks big time I will be holding this close.

Thanks for your share .. you are working it!

Hugs S :)

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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
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