The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I love this recovery program, someone said 'Its a simple program and its us who make it complicated' which is really true for me, its the simple things that have the most power. Im such a grateful member of Alanon and I love to read the wisdom of old timers who can speak this language really well as I can learn and grow.
Occasionally, there are shares that trigger me and these are also valuable, Im getting better at finding the causes within me and even if I disagree or feel uneasy about someones motives, there are always ways of taking it back to me and using it for self exploration growth.
I trust this program and it works when you work it has been true for me throughout my journey in Alanon.
I loved the reading recently in C2C that said,
'I know that when my thoughts begin with 'He Should' or ' She Shouldn't' I am probably in trouble. I don't make the rules for appropriate behaviour, good business conduct, driver courtesy or common sense. I don't know what is best for others because I don't know the lessons their higher power is offering them. I only know that if I'm caught up in what they should or should not do, I have lost my humility'
This is important for me, just to know that growth is dependent on me staying within my own head, not trying to work out anyone else, its not my business. Its a good way to gauge my recovery. I can be tempted to get right in there and make my views heard and make them understand but its a signal that I am trying to control another and that's dangerous territory for me. I have been affected by alcoholism, I have my own disease to recover from and there are triggers that make it rise to the surface. I can feel this overwhelming need to be heard, to be right. I do think its my inner damaged child, immaturity that lingers or resurfaces.
The slogan 'Think' has been helpful with this, instead of reacting to every trigger in my day, I take a moment to pause and think, what is my higher powers will? then I think well I don't like guilt or feeling ashamed of myself for reacting so to protect myself and let my self esteem grow then I wont react, Il let it go, live and let live, think how important is it anyway? usually its not important for me to be right or heard, its more important for me to feel good about myself.
Im so grateful for this toolbox, it helps with every little situation life can throw at us. Thanks for reading.x
When I get into the " He should" "He shouldn't or a " What if " I let HP know about it and tell him to please take it over and run with it. I can't make it happen so give me peace to let go. If sometimes my obsession is at it's worse I write it down and see if there is a way to control, manage or correct it. That way I can see in writing I am powerless to do anything. Practice, practice and more practice changes my way of thinking for the better.
(((( hugs ))))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I still catch myself doing the "you should"......but I am stopping myself more ----- I visualize a giant STOP sign flashing in front of me and then I can think about my next words. It is a hard thing for me to do after all these years of doing it.
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
One of my sponsors, who passed away some years ago, after sharing with me the tools of this program for several years, would always say... "if you put a hula hoop around your waist and spin it... anything outside the diameter that the hoop can reach, is none of your business John... Your business is inside the hula hoop only." Gosh, that surely cut out a lot of the work I was trying to do, things I was trying to figure out, people I was trying to make sense of.. so much of what I had spent time on was outside the range of what a hula hoop would reach, when spun from my waist! When I learned how to "live where MY feet are planted", and learned about personal space boundaries I was feeling less and less intruded upon and I was intruding upon others much, much less... I was able to stay inside my hula hoop, pretty comfortably I might add.
Now, I'm not perfect. Sometimes I still want to lift that darn hula hoop over my head, get out of it and go tell someone a thing or two! But I am getting better about getting back into my hula hoop pretty quick. It's a good resource for damage control too! LOL
John
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" And what did we gain? A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."
Bless you.