For my ex-AH it did mean bankruptcy.  His expensive lawyer got his pled down on his DUI (his second) too, so he only had to do rehab and monitoring, instead of the more serious penalties he was facing.  I wasn't that happy that he got away with less than the full penalty -- anyway he seemed to continue to think he could buy his way out of consequences.  He's still drinking, though not with my money.  I think the financial aspect is a tangible part of the consequences to us.  I discounted the emotional consequences, but seeing the dollars in black and white did give me pause.

Here's hoping your A makes good choices as a result of all of this.  Take good care of yourself.

Hoping she was looking over your shoulder or you hers and you took stock of just one aspect; the financial cost of this disease.  No you're not paying for a funeral or the outside cost which arrive when the affect of the disease touches others outside of the family.  There are some graces and mercies to be grateful for.  Let her participate in this audit as she has the same 12 steps as we do to arrive at recovery.  Realistic share and glad you brought it here.   ((((hugs)))) 

Your share helps to further ground the costs of this disease.  Thank you.

I look at the money going down the drain too, can't help myself because I write the checks that get the bills paid. Robbing from Peter and giving to Paul to make it work, I am feeling like this is my biggest way that I enable, because it is my rear end that is cold if the electric gets turned off, purely selfish on my part I know this and still do it... I used to make lists and budgets, nothing helped. I have even been asked when I have discussed a purchase with "our" money "do you really think we can afford that?" REALLY...REALLY took everything in me not to unload on that one! LOL Also, it makes me sad to think of the fun things like vacations or the useful things such as tuition payments that the money could have gone toward instead of beer and escalating insurance premiums and surcharges from employer for an "unhealthy lifestyle". When I read this I sound like such an idiot, WOW. I try not to think about it anymore, knowing that the future will be different when I am ready to change MYSELF. I wonder what is my bottom?

The monetary cost or expense some of you are saying was spent in dollars is so far outside my reach economically, I can't fathom how I would ever be able to pay that price.  However, I will go as far as saying that in terms of relativity, I have spent at times every dime I had to my name (literally), sold some of my most valuable assets, got personal loans I had no idea where the money was going to come from to pay them back and sacrificed many of the things I needed or wanted to pull an alcoholic out of the deep pit they dug for themselves, only to see them jump right back in the pit time and time again.  I was so tired, so worn out, so frustrated, so discouraged, so hurt, so disappointed... so in denial.  My rescuing stood in the way of my A(s) hitting their bottoms on many occasions.  So, I wasn't really helping them at all.  I was working from a place of love, ("self centered love"), and fear.. lots of fear.  My experience in all this helped me find MY bottom and come into the rooms of Al-Anon, feeling completely beaten, and torn apart.  What is the price tag for sanity, peace of mind and serenity these days?  That's what I paid out, time and time again.  What are the days and/or nights of my life, that were spent in some sort of rescue effort worth in dollars and cents?  Whatever that price would be, I spent it to see it thrown away, over and over again.  Today I may very well be the most financially broke person I know, but because of this program, I live in a world of great wealth.  I was able to finally stop spending Me.

John