Hello make this quick . I go back to Therepy next week with hope he can help me with my 4 the step . Dr does have knowledge in the 12 program both sided of st. But he will help me better understand why my inventory is so hard for me . Last night looking at old photos and I seen letters of my spouse inventory he had done on his self but I noticed it should of Been labeled his name not mine . That's all I saw was all the bad things about wisdom and it trigger me . I could not stop crying reading it and realizing how much at that time in recovery he despised me so much . I went threw the hurt all over again. I went home and said nothing sat with him we said nothing like always . So I went to bed I was sicken with the letters I seen all that stuff he did and said and the hurt I realized he never said sorry for that just sorry for drinking and the affair but not all the verbal mental physical abuse he put me threw . Today he sober 1 1/2 but miserable . Unhappy losing everything well at least YOUR still here in a wise ass way and I said to him you know I didn't choose your poor mistake . It was not my choice you lost your job. I had no control over your actions . But I can chose to further and better myself fix my mistakes make change a new beginning for myself and kids. And I chose not to stay married to you . You need to find your way back to god redo your inventory find what you missed or never corrected and start praying again I said that should be the correct chose for you to make then to sit here and tell me who I can be friends with and deside my choices for me. Because if I let you do that then I will be unhappy to . My chose is to better me move on get out of this toxic house before we get tossed out and start living a better life for me and the kids . Me and him will never agree on anything since he still wants to control what he can't control and that's me