The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Isn't it something How Deep this Disease can Go? Isn't it Insanity the Length One will Go, or When I STOP and Look around I Realize tho at times Just How many People it effects in a Long Chain of Events one at a Time, Event after Event...
Its So Much Deeper then I can even Imagine Most days... I have been Working "Boundry's, Staying on My Side of the Fence Detach w/Love, & Commpassion for those that Still Struggle in Addictions"...
Non of Which come Easy for Me!
I think somedays I"m Doing well, then someone shows up at the Door, Breaks my heart with Assumptions, Some Truth's, and Ready to Stand "Behind ME" While I Handle it! I have Prayed on it, I have Stayed On It, and I have Desided, I Didn't Cause It, Can't Control it, Can't Cureit and its Not Mine to Fix... Hurts Just Saying that... Sounds so Cold, But I Know the Consequence of this Action Very Well .Goes Something Like this --->>> I'm the Bad Person, The Liar, The Unfair, the one that To their Face its All Good, the Minute I'm Gone the Phones Start Blowing up, and Im Now Hated Bad Guy <<<<---- and when I Turn around... I'm Standing Alone AGAIN! Really Tired of That Trait! Giving that One Straight to HP! They have Their HP, I have My HP, and I Have to Believe that Theirs is As Loving as Mine! Or SO I Pray!
Im Always Amazed How HP Speaks to Me! The Other Night with all this Going on, plus Much more... I'm asleep in Bed, and Just Like a "Picture Show" in Black & White from the 40's, I Start seeing these Imigages of Days Past... Memory's, Happy & Sad, Wonderful & Fearful, Free & Caged... One at a Time, for a Split Second they would "Click" by One at a time, I'm Struggling to See what they all look like cause its happening So Fast! I Drift into Prayer/Sleep ... When i Got up the Next Day, I Knew it was Not Mine to Own... If Im ever Gonna Heal from the Hurt, I Have to Detach "W/Love" to the Issue that Holds Me Down... I Can't Be HP! I'm NOT HP!
I Do have to Say... Sometimes Even the Smallest Growth in this Program can Later Make Big Empact, But that does not mean it is Without Pain! I know My Heart will Always be Bruised by thee Effects of this Disease, within Me, and that that Surrounds Me Daily! But I Also Know! When I "Mind My Own Business" My Serenity becomes Welcomed into my Life again, even if it Stings for a Bit to Get there! So Grateful Al-Anon Taught me that My Tears where Important, and if I Needed Them, then They where JUST! I didn't have to Hide them Anymore, because I'M ALLOWED TO FEEL TOO! And Thanks to All of you & This Program, I can Now Have Feelings, Good or Bad... And Without Guilt
Thanks for Letting Me Share....
So Let Me Ask Ya...
Is Your Worries Yours? Or Thiers? Mine Now have to Be Mine!
How Important Is It? How Important Are You? I'm Crawling & Clawing My Way Back to the Top...
All the Horrid things that We as "Products oF" Have Been thru! So Far... We're Batting 100% Survival Thus Far ;) This Program Helps Me "THRIVE" which is One step Further then Survival ;) , And the Way I See... My Odds of Coming out of this Disease "Happy Joyous & Free" Is Coming Closer with Each Day..One Day at a Time Because of it... Thanks for Being Here!
I do hear you and understand the pain and sadness of which you speak. I'm glad you came to MIP and had the courage and clarity to share. Prayers and positive thoughts for you and your family
.Goes Something Like this --->>> I'm the Bad Person, The Liar, The Unfair, the one that To their Face its All Good, the Minute I'm Gone the Phones Start Blowing up, and Im Now Hated Bad Guy <<<<---- and when I Turn around... I'm Standing Alone AGAIN! Really Tired of That Trait! Giving that One Straight to HP! They have Their HP, I have My HP, and I Have to Believe that Theirs is As Loving as Mine! Or SO I Pray!
