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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> ah denial, so painful, gotta break it to get well
Post Info TOPIC: ah denial, so painful, gotta break it to get well
Debilyn


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ah denial, so painful, gotta break it to get well
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this was on facebook.The denial breaks my heart. This gal waited years to be "blessed" by the right person to be her husband. I have been so heartached inside for her for many years.
She was/is the best mom. Her kids, all three are wonderful people.She can be such a light in any group.
I thought I would share this, and maybe my response if anyone wants me too. It was my experience many have read many times. so it may be boring.... hugz debilyn
 
 
 
 
 
 
Hi. My name is Sue & I am a friend of alcoholics. It is a really hard & heartbreaking place to be. Until 6 years ago, alcohol was not in my life. Now it encompasses so much of several close relationships that mean a lot to me. I am tired of being disappointed & let down. I have taken addiction classes. I have attended AA & Alanon meetings. I have established & stood firm with boundaries. I have created my own group of supporters. I am not at a place of throwing in the towel.......yet.

The difference between AA & Alanon meetings is that those in AA have been out of focus to what impact their decisions make on others because they are not fully aware much of the time. The alcohol allows them to stumble blissfully unaware through life. So their meetings are more full of hope, celebration & stories of a positive nature while those in Alanon meetings are more like battle weary warriors. These folks live every moment of every interaction with their drinker. They are totally aware, full of conflicted emotions, and struggle with what to do or not do. Their meetings are more subdued, cautious, sad.

Some people think it is a disease, but I think it is a choice. I understand that addictions are very difficult to overcome, I understand that a body conditioned to function with alcohol, or other drugs, becomes dependant on it/them. I still think it is a choice. A disease isn't cured, just adjusted to. Dealt with. Fought against. Hopefully put in remission or a place of liveability. Drinking steals life. Destroys families. Burns through finances. Flushes health. But it CAN be overcome, put aside, left behind.

I have watched my alcoholics excuse behavior. It is frustrating to know financial issues come up & there is no money to relieve them. Trips are not being saved for. Kids are struggling with their roles & feelings of love vs. pain vs. survival. Health issues are not being addressed. There is no savings. Homes are being lost. Love relationships are broken. I know I can't fix my drinkers, my alcoholics. I know I can't change them. I can only turn them over to God. He loves them more than I ever could. He knows them better than I ever will. He can touch my broken & empty heart, too. My frustrations.

Thanks for listening. My name is Sue & I am a friend of alcoholics.


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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
PP


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This touches on issues I wrestle with as well.  I am not sure I can language some of my thoughts/observations, so I will ponder this one today.  Thanks for the share.



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Paula
bud


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It does touch my experiences and I can relate. This is such an awful, devastating and destructive disease and it affects everyone who's within reach. I'm sorry your friend has this too. I pray for her courage, wisdom, and serenity.

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Debilyn


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Wanted to share again, this was not a private note. It was made public as something to share. It was very thought out. This gal is working hard on recovery.

I wish so much for her to find serenity. Have never met anyone like her.If any relationship can work with one learning skills it is her.

I see so much progress from so many here and am as always in awe of everyone.  hugz



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Truth


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This is so true. I think this should be posted in everywhere. I have learned lately that detaching from someone just leads to the demise of the relationship. If you detach emotionally, a relationship cannot withstand that.

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> ah denial, so painful, gotta break it to get well