Al Anon Tools - Al-Anon Family Group

Starting Again · Member

Al Anon Tools

Melly1248 · ~*Service Worker*~

People talk about slogans all the time and at first I thought they were kind of dumb and obvious. Now they carry me through my days a lot of the time.
One thing they do in my local meeting is ask everyone to run through the list of slogans and pick the one that works for them that day. When you actually read through them and think about what you are experiencing, one of them usually jumps out and you can just keep it in mind for the rest of the day. It doesn't solve every crisis but it is like a soft whisper in your ear and you hear it louder and louder the more you practice.
Getting "out of my head" and doing program work every day is an amazing tool. For example, reading one of the daily readers and writing a reflection about it. It is hard to do because it isn't what my mind wants to be obsessing about right there and then...I have to force myself to focus. But I always uncover something new when I do it. And then I forget what I was obsessing over and start thinking in a positive direction instead.
Daily gratitude and assets...that's writing 3 things you are grateful for and 3 things you feel are good about you...wow they are hard to come up with sometimes but it is an awesome daily exercise.
Picking a "just for today" each morning...www.nhal-anon.org/Just4Today.html and trying to remember to stick to it.
These are the tools that have been working for me.

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

For me, it is practicing responding and not reacting. I too thought the slogans were dumb and obvious when I started, but they have worked better then years of therapy, I can tell you!. Learning the slogans well enough can keep you from exploding and later saying to yourself "gee that was stupid, why did I explode over that".

QTIP, mean what you say, say what you mean, but don't say it mean, beware HALT, having them on hand and then using them between the moment I have a stimulus and the time I actually respond to it is most of my toolbox.

peace
Kenny

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

At the moment, Im praying a fair bit. I like the Serenity Prayer and the third step prayer that I only recently became aware of. Saying the slogans when I need to find a way to behave instead of reacting, they can calm my mind when I use them right. Calling other Alanon people, although Im not great with phones, I would be happier emailing or texting. I sound really modern there.lol. Using the steps, reading the first 3 each day, reading the Just for Today card in the morning gives me a bit of a plan for the day. I listen to podcasts of meetings on youtube which I really like, think Ive heard most of them and there are great tips on them. I write my feelings down and try to let them go through doing that, it works great. Really great question I think.x

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

The collection is never ending. In addition to the other responses- my HP, the slogans, the serenity prayer, prayer, gratitude, other Alanoners, a lot of self-love, boundaries, asset lists, kindness to myself and others, a smile, a sense of humor, joy, and more.

Katy · ~*Service Worker*~

They say alanon is a simple programme for complicated people, well thats the truth, I am blown away by our tool box, it's like ? NO is a complete sentence? I mean jeez how many times do we need to say that and how hard is it sometimes, and the justification that we think needs to come with it, Saying no for me is sooooooooooooooooooooo hard without the rest of it, but I don't need the rest of it, but you know what? when I do it, I do cart wheels, and back flips, and I am sooooooooooo happy with myself, we all have our own tool box here, and we share and borrow, mine was empty for ages, I was thinking hammer, nails, spanner, seriously, I took ages to get it, HALT is awsome!

are you hungry

angry

lonely

tired! it's magic!

and one of my favourites, how important is it? start collecting! xx

katy

x

mm830 · Senior Member

Gratitude. Amazing, you start off feeling so sorry for yourself then you thank HP for air, water, food, shoes, feet, by the time you are done its a whole new you. I am so grateful for my two feet and the shoes I take for granted. How could I keep putting one foot in front of the other without them? Then you thank HP for the fact you have legs and can walk. Well, you get the point. You end up beyond thrilled for the canned foods in your pantry and helping a stranger for no reason which makes you grateful you can help someone. Miracle. Plus the stranger is grateful. It's the best feeling ever.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.