The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been saying- do the first three first steps first, before taking a sponsor. Get used to sharing and trusting...
...that wouldn't suit everyone, of course. If I sponsored someone I would ask for this though... (unless it was a dead cert. right from the beginning.)
There are no hard and fast rules as to when to get a sponsor It is suggested that you attend meetings, listen for a person you can relate to and then ask them If they agree than you can both negotiate a workable sponsor/ sponsee relationship.
Good Luck
-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 18th of March 2014 06:08:18 AM
My experience was interesting. I asked a person to be my sponsor and she politely declined. I was hurt at first...but then I asked another lady to sponsor me shortly after that and she said yes. She is like a mother to me. We have been working together for almost a year. I am glad the first person said no because I have realized after hearing her shares over a longer period of time I realized we wouldn't have worked out. She is on a different path in life than I am. I would suggest you wait until you go to at least 8 meetings or so.
Listen for a person you can really relate to and who you think could help you get what you want out of life. I have been to a few AA meetings where the hands raise quickly when people are asked if they can sponsor someone. Sponsors are critical for AA members...but I have noticed in Al Anon people are not as eager to sponsor. I think it is because we feel so burdened by caring for the A in our lives we just don't have the energy to care for others as much. But each group is different. I would suggest talking to people after the meetings for awhile to get an idea of who you might want to ask. I hope I have helped.
Great question, and I am so Happy you are asking yourself the question, "Do I need a sponsor?"
In my opinion, it is never to soon for sponsorship, especially if you are feeling "inclined" to get one. A sponsor can help you at any stage of your recovery. And even if you get a sponsor now and find out it isn't a good fit eventually you can always get another one.
Before I asked the person who was my first sponsor to be my sponsor, I prayed about it and I just felt urged from inside to do so. I asked and started a relationship with that person that helped me immensely in the beginning of my recovery. Eventually, I decided I needed someone else and got a new one who helped me to grow in other areas of my life.
There is no right or wrong to this question, but the program strongly recommends sponsorship and it certainly is a crucial part of my program of recovery.
My sponsor found me soon after I started attending two weekly regular meetings and she was sponsoring others and had been in program a very long time. I suggest to keep going and listening to those sharing and see who is living the program, before you ask anyone. It is very helpful to have her, but you want someone who has the background, time and patience and it hasn't been easy for everyone to find that balance. HP hand delivered my wise old sponsor when the timing was right for is both. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Hi, I have only been with the program for just over a week but I am already wondering when is the right time to choose a sponsor???
I have only attended 2 face to face meetings but already feel the benefit of the program. Is it to early to be thinking about a sponsor??
I look forward to hearing from anyone with experience in this.
Thank you
I got a sponsor right away as soon as i found someone i could feel safe and could relate to.....I would start shopping right away, b/c it will take you time to find someone...in the meantime get into steps 1,2,3 start with #1, when you feel comfortable, move to #2 and so forth and kinda move around those while you shop for your sponsor....step 4 i recommend working w/a good sponsor b/c that step is the "get to know you" step.....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!