Dear Nanaofsix

Welcome to MIP. Congratulations on taking care of your grand children and providing the love and support they need at this difficult time. I am glad that you are familiar with our alanon meetings and have attended in the past. The tools are so very important in maintaining our sanity and serenity. One of the most important tools, I found was face-to-face meetings. It was here that I broke the terrible isolation of living with this disease, felt the very special support of others who understand this few others can.

 If you are unable to attend face-to-face meetings I urge you to checkout the online meetings here.  They  held two times a day

 

Morning Meetings

Mon. - Fri. at 9am EST

Sat. - Sun at 10am EST

Each Sunday morning at 10 am EST, we will be having a Spiritual meeting with a topic relating to the Spiritual part of our program.

Night Meetings

Mon-Saturday 9PM eastern time

Sunday 7PM eastern time

Each Thursday night at 9PM EST, we will be having a Step/Tradition Meeting to help new people get to know and understand how to work the 12 steps.
After going through one Step per week, and getting through the 12 of them, we then start a Tradition a week on this same night.

Group Business Meetings are held in this room on:
The FIRST Sunday of each month at 8:30PM EST, (directly following the 7pm Sunday evening meeting.) Please join us for this meeting, as this is where the group comes together to make group related decisions.

 

and keep coming back and sharing   There is hope and you are not alone

 

welcome!

There are many grandparents raising their grandkids these days. I am very glad you stick to your rules. Those kids need routine and strength that I see you are giving,. When they get in a pickle they will KNOW you will be there for them.

Its sad your daughter is an addict. She is an adult, it is totally up to her what she does with her life. We raise them to go stand on their own, they have to figure all things out to grow.

We never have control whether our kids get sick, go to jail or die. My son is an avid outdoorsman and faces many things that could easily take his life. He will chance his own life to help others and does all the time. So I know that fear, and he is not A. It is a natural thing for us parents to feel.

My daughter saved unbeknowest to me to go to Europe! Next thing i know she is in Paris!!! Once she took some green turtle bus to Cabo! lol

I am not saying your fear is not warrented, I am saying we always are concerned about them.

They need us to let go to allow them the dignity of their own lives, own choices. If she is ever to find recovery, she has to feel it for herself period.A recovery program is a life time path. An A has to be very strong to do it. Believe me if forcing it worked I would have had many people kidnapped for me and taken them up to a campsite with me to detox  for awhile then put them in rehab.

They have to do it from the decision to walking in the door and staying till they are ready to go out from a halfway house to 90 meetings in 90 days! then cont. on their program.

Now you have a huge job. Do you know if you have a support group for other grandparents raising their grand kids? Being involved with the school helps a lot. day trips with the kids helps you bond, board games, pizza night. Things that keep your lives happy and bonded. Does not have to cost money or much. I loved taking kids to thrift shops, give them five bucks and let them find treasures.

Also if you don't get support financially, make sure you check out dept of human services. Last I heard if they are family you get help for them.

I am PROUD of you for loving these kids so much to be their grama. It's funny as I thought I might get to do that....sounds dumb but I LOVED raising my kids, and wanted more!

ONE day at a time, Betty told you about meetings here, they are very good. Honey I know if you could help your daughter you would, heck we all would! But we know the best thing we can do is nothing. So come here anytime to vent, ask questions, tell us what you and kids are up to. We love to hear how your life goes. Even if you get a new refridgerator we like to hear happy stuff too! (c:

sending you so much love! debilyn come back!!!

Good for you!!! Where do you find the energy! I am also a mom of 4 and a grandma to 7.... ages 13 to 2. They are so much fun but so much energy. Just all their school things means driving, driving, driving..... You are earning your angel wings.

If you could help your daughter, you would. But she has a mind of her own.

The guilt! I don't think you can be human and not feel guilty, but you can let your thinking mind overcome the guilt. Just do what you have to do and keep the rules of your house and the rules of the courts and the police. You ARE keeping the kids safe. Now the 18 yr. old probably can do what she wants, but the twins have to live by your rules.

Keep on reading here. Remind yourself over and over that you are not guilty of anything but working way too hard. Try to get online to the meetings if you can't get to any in your area.

Just wanted to stop in and offer you hugs and support, Nanaofsix. Great advice here so far. I'm glad you found this MIP board.