The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I took a call from my son today - well actually it was a doctor who called from a hospital telling me my son was assaulted by someone in the rooming house where he's been living and wanted to reach out to me. He transferred the call and I spoke with my son. He told me he was beaten up, had some of his things stolen and cannot go back there due to not feeling safe. Said he was working, making barely enough to pay the rent. I didn't know what to tell him - he asked for his brother-in-laws phone number. Said he wanted to call him for support (BIL is a recovering alcoholic and doing well).
He called me back a while later to say he may be going to his father's as a last resort but really wants to be placed in a sober living house or a mental health hospital. He's afraid the insurance won't cover it. I'm not sure if he's really serious about recovery or just feeling desperate. I am praying he will be admitted to a mental health facility as this would be his best chance.
He said he's totally run out of hope. All this upset me so much I had to leave work. And so it continues.....
I would only pray he's feeling desperate enough and wants to change his conditions in which he is living. It's so so sad to let your son suffer so much but if we continue to enable nothing will ever change.
I also know how your feeling right now when you know you have the means to help him. I have learn to stop and think about my motives. Will it really help him in the long run or is it for me? That is the question.
Help is there if he wants it.....us mom's can't do it for them.
Take care Rose50 and let us help you.
((( hugs )))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Ah...motives. Yes - my helping him gave me some comfort but as we both know it's always short-lived. It doesn't help them in the long run. He tells me he has been trying but cannot get help. I don't know anymore.
It sounds to me like your son fits the prototype for someone I would refer to a long term residential dual diagnosis program. Only mental health will not be sufficient and vice versa.
my daughter had no insurance and no job, and after 3 days the regular hospital sent her first to a state run mental health hospital, for another 3 days on the 10-13 status, then changed to voluntary .....and then transferred her to an inpatient 28 day residential rehab facility, which i think was associated with the state system....it was a real good place...and they did not charge her. so there is hope for your son to receive treatment even if the insurance does not cover it. i also have a friend who just entered a 6 month residential place with the salvation army and he has no insurance or job, he pays his way there by working there....i think his first assignment is custodial duties ,cleaning the bathrooms, but he is happy to be there.
so there are ways and places for your son to find treatment...there is hope.
oh i forgot to add to add that the residential rehab place would also have found her a sober living home if she had needed one, but she came back to live at our house instead.
the staff at the various facilities know how to help him find places. they can help.
Thank you everyone for your ESH. I just got a text message from the brother-in-law. He knows of a sober living house, through some friends that will take my son. He will be picking him up later this evening. Says he will be in good hands. Hoping and praying for the best.
I'm happy......and you didn't have to lift a finger. Stayed on your side of the street and in the long run you will feel better because of it. Like me in the past I would have already been in the car, over to the hospital, picking him up and bringing him home until I found someplace for him to go to. Then to find out later it all went to hell in a hand basket.
(((( hugs ))))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Well you did the right thing and that was "nothing". Hurray for you! Although that was pretty trickey of the alcoholic to have the Dr. call you! Remember "cunning, baffling..... Keep aware. Sounds like your doing nothing worked out well..... in support og
__________________
Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
Ah...motives. Yes - my helping him gave me some comfort but as we both know it's always short-lived. It doesn't help them in the long run. He tells me he has been trying but cannot get help. I don't know anymore.
they ALWAYS can find a way to get help....IF they are serious...it is amazing how creative they can be when they really want the help they need....
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
