The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Another realisation I have had, thanks to a member of this fellowship is that this program takes serious committment. Setting boundaries of my own and living this program. Its not enough just to know it and think it. You have got to live it . I have not been living it fully, is it possible to live it fully? I think it must be, otherwise it doesnt really work. Lately, my program work has consisted of reading a daily reader, thinking about it for 2 minutes before I go to work, reading my just for today card, thinking about that for another minute and fleetingly throughout my day, feeling dis ease during the day and thinking of a couple of slogans expecting them to work like magic, weekly meeting, sometimes twice, step work if I can be bothered maybe once a fortnight. This is not good enough. Im getting out what Im putting in.
I must put in more effort into living this new way of thinking. I think ive rested on having studied the theory of the program, just sitting back and thinking well I get this so im working it. However, the working it part is the living it, living by the principles in everything I do and say and think. Ive been a part timer, being alanonish and then sitting back and feeling good about myself and then taking a rest from it and out comes the old me. Im a member almost 2 years now, its time to take this to a new level. Thanks for your patience.x
I shared at my home group last night that when I got to Al-Anon and witnessed how some of the membership was so well put back together that I wanted what they had badly. I was sooo sick and I had no solutions of my own. I arrived at the realization that I could have what they had if I did what they did and so I watched and to my utmost ability tried to duplicate their "recovery" behaviors...not just the talk. All of my analyzing I did before I got to Al-Anon never worked at all...It wasn't about what I thought or said It was about what I did and I wanted to do what they did. I even use to ask members to critique me (dangerous when the other person doesn't love you and the fellowship did love me just like MIP) and they did offer me suggestions often. My sponsor was okay with that also so I learned and then I practiced, practiced, practiced...I still practice...meaning I do it not just talk it. (((((hugs)))))
