The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When I first started Al-anon i never thought id be able to get what everyone else seemed to have. I wanted it to happen over night! Through doing my OWN work I'm FINALLY starting to feel the peace from letting go. Trying different reactions and stopping negative thinking, im so much happier not trying to control everything. As you all know, trying to control everything is exhausting! This is just a little note for anyone who is feeling hopeless...you CAN get there. It just takes practice and time. Focusing on yourself and doing things YOU enjoy and taking your attention off A dilutes resentment. Setting up boundaries (when they're sober) makes you feel safe and in control. Changing negative thoughts by telling yourself no matter what you think, they are still gonna do what they want, gives you control. So to anyone who is feeling lost and hopeless, you CAN get there, it just takes time and practice.
Thanks for reading, I'm just happy at how far I've come and how good it feels to LET GO! I didn't think it was possible.
Looking back at your first post, you have come a long way! Trying different reactions is responding instead of reacting. That was one of the first things I started to do in Al Anon, and it was a godsend! Sometimes I call it simply "think before you open your trap", but I only say that to me, you can keep calling it trying different reactions.
Another one I saw here somewhere is that resentment is our hangover. Anything we can do to control resentment is great, and as you said, taking your attention off A, knowing he's going to do what he's going to do, whether you try to control it or not, definitely helps with that.
And I was so happy when I could make my first positive share at my F2F meeting the other night, instead of ranting about AW. isn't it great to do that? To me that's another big sign of progress. Just like this post.
