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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> He says he wants this darkness toe end
Post Info TOPIC: He says he wants this darkness toe end
Nankiepooh


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He says he wants this darkness toe end
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Jack says he wants to stop. I don't know if I must happy or sad, laugh histerically! He already did not drink a whole lot yesterday and got some withdrawel symptoms. I told him not stop so abrubtly and that he must lessen it up until the last drop is gone. Did I do the right thing? And how can I help to ease this.

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el-cee


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Ease what? Your suffering? We can help with your suffering,  his suffering? Nothing we can do and actually I would suggest you do not try to help or fix in any way. It could be this discomfort that helps him stay sober.x



-- Edited by el-cee on Saturday 8th of March 2014 03:09:20 AM



-- Edited by el-cee on Saturday 8th of March 2014 03:10:27 AM

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jillybean1


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Mine stopped and tried to detox at home....started to have hallucinations.....had to get him to the ER. Alcohol detox can kill people, and can get you hurt if they start seeing things that are not there....so you be careful and call 911 if needed----don't think --------oh it's just alcohol......it's poison to their bodies. I don't know how bad a drinker Jack is, but detox should be done in a medical way (detox center) take it from me........ things can go very bad very quickly.



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milkwood


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My AH stopped drinking and it was when I reached a point when I totally ignored his drinking. He poured his own booze away, he took responsibility for his behaviour (up to a point and I stayed out of it. After a few days I said something to the effect of 'its nice to have you here'. Obviously if AH were to keel over, need an ambulance for any reason then sure I would call one for him but apart from that I'm trusting him and his HP to take care of him (something that I did too little of when he first started drinking!). As to how to ease things? Enjoy your life! Hopefully that will make you feel better and more positive to be around (for you both!). I think it is important to trust your own instincts - I'm recounting my own experience of course.

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pinkchip


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Have him go to the AA board here and ask questions on how to help himself. How bout AA? When he wants alcohol do you believe he has the ingenuity to find it? If so, he can find a meeting and/or get himself into rehab. I suspect he's fairly capable.

I know this type of feedback sounds harsh but it's to free you up so you can enjoy your life and not play nurse, counselor, detox center, or therapist to him.

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Nankiepooh


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My head is spinning! Too many thoughts at once.

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Debilyn


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Ok Nan I know where you are. Not telling you what to do, this is what I do when going in circles.

in my head I say stop. I put in a little thought. stop,i only need to take care of me. say this over and over.

right now I am healing me from deep depression from unhealed grief.

So if I think about the past. I say stop, this is my life. I do this all day off and on. Now i don't even have to say stop. My mind just blinks over to this is my life. then I think about where I am at that moment.

For you it is,Stop. his disease is none of my business. Just keep saying this inside, it will stop the negative circles. Keep it simple!

If he passes out, has hallucinations, seizures call 911. I invite you to put it back in his lap. I told mine, your disease is yours alone. I cannot do anything, so please don't talk to me about it. Tell me about work or something you saw on tv etc.

He has to feel it all on his own, call AA whatever is totally up to him. Relieve yourself of HIS burden. For me i just loved mine and minded my own business.

stop that confusing mess. All you need to do is think of you,that other stuff is not in your control anyway. KEEP coming!

 



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Nankiepooh


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Came to bed nd asked for sex. I declined nd said can you just please hold me. He asked again like all the other times why nd I answer as always. The smell is not quite a turn on. Then the argument starts. This is not the only reason I keep on pushing him away. There must be somerhing\someone else. NO there is nothing or no one else! I keep quiet and let him talk. One sentence I say becomes a one hour monologue from him. Why is there no warmth,passion,love frm my side. I dnt even look happy to c him. Well 3 hours later I got up nd went to bed. Leaving him alone nd sleeping in the lounge. Tomorrow this is going to continue. Him saying tht he will go cold turkey tomorrow to show me that he will do anything for me. Dnt believe him cuz a bottle was again bought today. Taking it slow he says. Dunno anymore

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Jerry F


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Find the way to attend online meetings here at MIP and read read read...look for the suggestions that come from what others have done and then follow those because they have worked for someone else.  Chance are things will change for you...not for him.   (((((hugs))))) smile



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