The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Alanon has given me awareness of my shortcomings and the tools to remove them, im grateful for that. At least im no longer misersble, blaming it all on the alcoholic and justifying my bad behaviour. Im just feeling the badness creep in, I cant really bear people at the moment. My friends are really annoying me, I am looking at their shortcomings and I can hardly bear them, yet I love so much about them, im not happy with my own inner negative thoughts. I feel intolerant, angry, and judgemental. I think its really my own inner self im upset witn. Im not happy about this state of mind and I think im ready to have them removed now, lol, if only it was that easy.
I have these experiences, too. When I do, it is often a signal for me to lighten up and stop the introspection for a bit. And there are times I have to cocoon and have minimal contact with people. I get all filled up with other peoples stuff and just need space. I no longer ignore these signals, because when I do I am not very likable to me
I feel that way too. Like I either want to hug certain people for who they are while simultaneously knocking out random people who bother me. It always comes back to me though cuz it's when I'm in a needy or off kilter head space when other people are affecting too much. Plus I also start feeling grimy when everyone is annoying me and I get mad at myself then for being intolerant. Staying centered and doing regular 10th step inventories is work, but it beats the alternative which is going around truly believing the problem is everyone else.
I feel that way...I think we all do. When this happens I stop and think about why I feel this way and how can I fix me. I can't change others to be the way I want them to be so I have to change my thinking most of the time.
I have to do this all the time with my SO because he's a lazy bum and can annoy the hell out of me. If I haven't been able to fix it for 20 years why should I continue to try. I either have to work it out or leave the situation. My choice.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
It usually helps me just to admit I feel that way and feel it. I don't fight it. I don't try to fix it. I just let it and myself be. There have been times I have gone so far in my corporate life when I couldn't just go home and stay home where I could spend time in solitude. So, I'd create a sign and tie it to my chair: "Caution. Grouch here. Approach at your own risk." Co-workers had their grouchy days, too. We just gave each other the space to be where we were. We trusted ourselves and each other to rise back up again like balls pushed down in the water. I tend to take things too seriously at times and to work too hard at stuff. Lightening up, as Paula suggests, changing what I can if anything like Cathy suggests, and just giving myself space to be human moves me out of the grouchy chair much more quickly than anything else I try. As you can see from our shares, you are not alone. We all have our sideways days.
Thank you, I wrote a letter to my higher power telling him how I was feeling, I think I got a reply which was that my expectations are not realistic, setting me up to feel this way, I can forgive myself for feeling like this and let it go, easy does it. Ive got a plan of action, im going to join the gym, I think it will help in many ways, destress me, make me feel better about myself, spend at least half an hour each day on my recovery, keep looking within and of course coming here and sharing.x
Good! Glad you found a plan of action that you'll pursue that sounds good for you. And - in a pinch - I would be very willing to mail you my sharpie, some poster board, a hole puncher and some string if you want to hang a sign on your chair? Love, me
I use to go to the gym years ago and I did feel better. I think going and working out a person's frustration is good. I also need time alone to recharge my batteries. Take care.
Oh I keep telling myself...join the gym down the street it will be good therapy for you Cathy. You can lose weight, get your mind off your problems and work out that stress that builds up inside of you.
I think I will stop by and see just how much it will cost and maybe get a free week to see if I will continue to go after work.
Great plan my friend!!!
(((( hugs ))))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
(((el-cee))) I can relate!!! The gym is a great idea on so many levels- I find when I make time for exercise, many things annoy me less- or- I'm able to handle things better. Thank you for posting and please let us know how this is going.
