Owning Up - Al-Anon Family Group

astallaslions · Veteran Member

Owning Up

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

What a human being in recovery!! Easy does it sister...don't need to kill a flea with a hammer. Where and when I came from my ESH is have a spouse and get a sponsor. With my spouse I learned to say...I'm sorry for that...I screwed up and I am working on it and then call my sponsor and tell him the long story. It worked out soooo well and we all grew from it. Go figure...I screwed up!! where the hell did that come from. lol Owning up is a tool lion good job. ((((hugs)))) smile

yanksfan51 · ~*Service Worker*~

It may not feel like it (but I hope it does), but your post is an inspiring one. A reminder about how we have our part in our own recovery, about our own accountabilities. You looked inward and were able to focus on what was and is happening within you...not always so easy to do.

Good luck with the surgery--and thank you for posting

Mary

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Awesome work....keep sharing biggrin

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

I would make amends to him. Tell him what you just told us. If he's on the road to recovery he might understand a little what you have been though.

Take what you like and leave the rest

((( hugs )))

SerenityRUS · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs,

Be easy on yourself .. we are all only human after all .. my favorite line of a play called Dark of the Moon is "It ain't easy being human." Truthfully it's just not .. it's hard messy work.

He will understand if you share open and honestly make an amends especially if he's in a program of recovery .. we didn't choose our partners by accident and we didn't get here over night either.

Hugs S :)

SpiderArcana · Senior Member

Self awareness! That's a difficult step, and potentially a very humbling one. Having been affected by an A and constantly having to be vigilant for changes, walking on eggshells all the time, taking care of everything. Then things change, and the A is better, but we're left with so much anger, resentment, trust issues, and general crazy-brain tendencies. To me, that's when AlAnon really shines. What makes me happy? What am I doing for myself today? Why am I having such-and-such reaction to my A? What do I need to do to take care of me? When we are finally not 100% wrapped up in our As, we're left to fill a huge void. Take care of yourself, try and find your bliss, and one day at a time.

Mimi3 · Senior Member

Thank you! What a wonderful honest share!!

The great thing in recovery is when we make mistakes or we forget ourselves...we can go back and make amends for that:) What a concept that was for me early on! So good for you for coming here and writing it out...it really is that simple...if we let it be:) If you haven't found a sponsor yet, I hope that you will soon, she is the one you can take all of your feelings & aggression's to and not be hurt biggrin , what great program work you are doing, you know what your thinking and insecurity is...now you just have to have the surgery, work your program and Let Go & Let God!!

~Hugs & Prayers to you~

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

The growth I see in your share is that you are noticing that you are being irritable and unreasonable and know it! That's progress. Not only do you know it, you are aware you don't want to stay stuck there and rationalize it. More healing. More program progress. More growth. High five!

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

I joined Al Anon for one reason (I stayed for a number of reasons). When my AW was in inpatient treatment, I noticed I had a lot of anger towards her, and wanted to recount everything she had done in the past and drag it up like psychotherapy and analyze it. Really, I wanted to beat her up for all of her transgressions. How dare she do all that stuff to me! I couldn't wait for her to be home so that, since she was now sober, we could go into the Nueremberg trial phase!!

The counselor at the center advised me that this was be a bad move on my part. I came to realize that doing this would drag her through the mud for things that weren't her fault, but the fault of a kind of disease or insanity, and would just make her feel like crap, and wouldn't promote healing within my family. In fact, I don't want to discuss past transgressions with her at all, unless she specifically asks.

So now what to do with all that anger??

This is why I joined Al Anon, and am on this board. This is why I have so many posts on this board. I'm not any kind of expert on what is going on, if I were, I think my life would be much better! I just need to share with others, relive my past stories through your stories, and in the process hopefully let go of some of the anger and disappointment. I am so glad I've found a group of people who can put up with my ranting because they know what it's all about. I actually feel better posting here sometimes, because I figure at an Al Anon meeting everyone is trapped while I do my sometimes ranting shares, but on here if you already know parts of my story and don't want to take some of your life reading the umpteenth time about how I found a box of wine in the garage after my AW came home from rehab, you can just skip that.

Therefore, keep coming back! It will do your soul good!

Peace
Kenny

Jozie · ~*Service Worker*~

WOW... Great Growth :) And Even More Proof, we are But Humans, that Must Make Humans Mistakes in order to Grow! And Grow you are, even if it doesn't feel like it in the ICK Of it all... But What I See is Someone that can Admit when they are wrong, even if it stings alittle at first, that to me is Major Recovery....And Each Day We Spend, Growing is a Great Day in Recovery!

Thanks for Coming Here & Sharing your Growth... Job well Done..

Keep Coming Back :)

maryjane · ~*Service Worker*~

We have issues too. Take it easy on yourself. Forgive yourself. Tell him you are sorry and that you have issues and will try to do better.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Hey I am telling you I just went thru a horrible time from tooth pain. I was awful. Now that I am better, I think back at how very sick I was!

Please go easy on yourself!

maybe right now is not a good time to get too deep. I know for me sometimes I just gotta take time off from well thinking about all the bad stuff.

I am reading a book called, "The Art of Doing Nothing." I love it.

so today as I was pounding in t posts 7 feet tall, I am barely 5'2" lol I looked at the mountains, breathed in the country air, listened to the birds. Watched my silly big old baby farm pig root up the pasture like a back hoe. just did nothing but allow my senses to experience.

hugs!Everything will be ok!

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

Great awareness and growth! Keep putting one foot in front of the other and doing the next right thing.

In support

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.