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This weekend marks 16 days since by boyfriend crawled into a bottle. Last night after dropping my children off with their Dad I returned to town to pick up his teenage daughter from their house. Normally I would spend the weekend there, but not when he is like this. I went inside and he was on the couch crying about a movie he was watching. He said he saved a part of the movie for me to see because it reminds him of me and how much he loves me. I watched it while his daughter was getting her things ready. Then I let him know that I was just there to pick her up. He was very surprised, he begged me to stay and sleep over. I said no. He pleaded with me and said that he cooked her dinner and he thought that would be enough to get me to stay. I said, "She doesn't want to stay here, and neither do I." He asked me why through his tears and I plainly said, "Because you are not sober and you smell really bad." He looked crushed but I didn't care. He couldn't believe it. As we walked out he said, "I miss you both and love you both very much."
It is sad and very hard to see the man that I love and respected to be like this. I am hoping that my actions get him closer to rock bottom so that it becomes more painful to continue like this than to keep drinking. But I know that I can't do anything about it and can only take care of myself, my children and his daughter. Just wanted to share.
X3....Good boundaries and motives. YaY!! Also pretty entertaining drama on his part....and you didn't fall for it? Wow!! The Snowflake grows stronger. ((((hugs)))) thanks
Wow, Snowflake...sounds like you have a good set of boundaries....good one you and yes....the only hope, the absolute only hope of his getting into recovery is for you to back off..let him suffer the consequences of his drinking and MAYBE when he hits bottom, and he will if he does not get sober...stay sober working a strong program in AA...he WILL go down....but sounds like you are not gonna let the Titanic drag you down...alanon is your life raft....glad you grabbed onto it and are taking care of you and those kids....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Very good thing to do. I pray he thinks about himself being alone in that house without love around him. I pray he comes to terms with what he's doing to himself, his daughter and you. Keeping yourself and his daughter away from the drama is the best you could have done and I'm happy you can do this. It gets easier with time and harder for him to keep do what he's doing without fear of losing everything.
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
If he misses you enough, he knows exactly what he has to do to turn things around. I think you are wise to be realistic and to know that his actions are more telling than his words. Great job taking care of yourself.
Wow, sounds like you are working a great program in the midst of it! Good on you for caring for his daughter as well as your own. Sending you much love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
((Snowflake74)) Great share and way to go! You are doing an awesome job taking care of yourself and his daughter. I commend you on upholding your boundary in this painful situation. Nice that his daughter can blend with your kids. Love that, "you smell really bad...just sayin" very honest and he did ask...
-- Edited by MorningGlory on Sunday 2nd of March 2014 07:04:26 PM
-- Edited by MorningGlory on Sunday 2nd of March 2014 07:05:03 PM
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Nothing has changed but my attitude, everything has changed.
