The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Before I Go into My Rant... I Just want to THANK All that Prayed for My Aunt, She is Doing Well, and We wont know untill her appt in 2wks if Chemo or Radiation are necessary...So Thank you all that Said a Prayer for her Surgery yest., she is doing Great & I'm Most Grateful indeed :)
NOW...lol...Do ya Ever Just Get Tired of Other Peoples Drama? I have had a Ruff last Week, Like Many Im Sure, but it Continues to Keep Coming... And Tho I'm Not Trying to Control it, or Even Deal with it Really because Non of it is my Issue, they just Keep Throwing the Punches! They Keep Filling the Plate to Belittle me, Make me feel Less then I am, or Miss Preceive for thier Own personal satisfactions (I Guess) and then tell me not to take it personal when they brought it to me to begin with... Well I'm Def getting my Feet wet in the practicing of Principals above Personalitys part for sure...
I Don't Ever intentionally go out to hurt Someone, Has it Happened? Absolutely! and if I Feel I have, I am the 1st to Say I'm Sorry and do my Damndist Not to do it again... I have No Problem admitting when i'm Wrong, or not playing fair... But within this Disease ALL Around me, I'm Quite Tired of being at Fault, or Blamed I Should say... for Others Issues, that I Had Nothing to do with! A Simple Kind Gesture, was Turned & Twisted to fit the Needs of the Sick, and Frankly i'm sick of it! Im Not Going to Quit Giving to those Worthy, but I'm Definitely OVER Helping those that come at me for no Reason!
I've had my Far share of Let downs over the Years, like we All have some Much Worse then Others.. and Frankly, I'm not in this world to do anything more then LIVE the Life God Gave me as I Choose, and not how others Think I Should... I"m not here to Give All of Me to Others (I tried that, and then I Lost Me) I am here to Help those I Can thru the Good & Tough Patches, and be there for those that are In Need of Help if I Can, But I Can't do it all, So I Guess there is going to be Hurt Feelings Somewhere!
I Come from a Family that is Consumed by Drama Lovers, those that have to Stir the Pot to Fill themselves up! Those that Blame everyone else for what They did to themselves... Those that Can't Keep Relationships even with Friends or anyone because they like to play games with Words, or Mind Games & Suck the Pity out of you... I got Into Recovery to Get Better & Get ME Back, Not be the Backside or the Shoe Sole for others...
I Own what is Mine, and I'm Far from Living My Life Perfectly, I Make Mistakes Sometimes Daily, but I Do my Best to stay on My side of the Street.. If I Can Help I Do! But I'm Taking back my Recovery, and Allowing them to do as they Please with their Life! This Illness is So Deep around me I Really don't need the Added Drama... Just this week there was 3 arrest within my Family, 2 had to did with addiction of course, and the other was just Plain Stupid! One Will Very Much Effect Our Business, but that too is out of Our Hands, so that ones Going to HP & as I am so Repeatedly told.. "It IS, what It is!" So I'm going to do my best to Keep on Keeping on... I'm getting back to My Recovery & My Serenity, and Frankly if that Selfishishly offends them I Guess I'll just have to Live with it, cause at this point... I'm Voting with My Feet, and Cutting my Losses... I know HP Will always be there to walk me thru the Mucky waters, so its time to Clean the boots & move on :)
Sis you've been thru the ruts and ditches and sand traps and such of growing in recovery. You've been an inspiration and "the teacher" often and I know that you know that you know how to read the picture without missing a stroke. Your post reminds me of the answer to the question I had "So what do I do when I find out that I know and know that I know to which the answer came back very clearly..."When you learn that the program works when you work it...duplicate the work you've done". That's the answer to how do I do this? Keep it simple...duplicate. (((((Hugs)))))
I'm getting back to My Recovery & My Serenity, and Frankly if that Selfishishly offends them I Guess I'll just have to Live with it, cause at this point... I'm Voting with My Feet, and Cutting my Losses... I know HP Will always be there to walk me thru the Mucky waters, so its time to Clean the boots & move on :)
Thanks for Letting Me Share....
I Can't.... He Can... I Think I'll Let Him
Jozie
This is what I do...If I can't work something out w/someone, I look at my part in it...what lessons do i need to learn and maybe their being in my life is just that...a lesson....if so?? accept it and move on.......sometimes I don't even try to "work it out" with them , depends on what happened and what I think of the relationship...But the bottom line is if it aint a match??? I walk away.....I have a full time job taking care of me...I am not right a LOT of times, but I do my best with the tools that I have....
Also I ramp up the meetings and calls to my sponsor and other recovery folks I share with.....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Thank You all for Your Kindness, and Support, I'm Forever Grateful for your Recovery, as well as My Own... And (((((Brother Jerry)))) You are Always Right ;) Its time to get back at it... I Don't Feel I have Stepped out of It, just Haven't stepped it up in a while... Its Time ... Thank you Always for your Gentle Reminders... I couldn't be More Grateful in it all....
And Also, Always Thankful for those Prayers, I Can't He Can :)
