The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i finally find out the truth that he had been hiding his drinking all along,I confronted him 3x then he told me he drank margerittas instead of beer but still changed his behavior when he ,he being my a b/f, came in after work,he called me from work and humbly apologized for his behavior and he went on to saying that I ate too much which was his way of justifying his drinking so I told him it would best that he get out .....so that bein said he came in from work I was at my neighbors next door and then he left but I don't see that he took any clothes with him,,,,,,here I am all alone but no a in my home neither for tonight I'm really got to be tough this time for this time he has managed to stay with me for 1whole year,all the other times I made him leave he would only be here for 3 weeks.i don't want to act or be mean to him that I'm trying not to be or get that way I know he is a very sick person with alcoholism and yes I'm gonna have to talk to him soon.i don't know wether to wait for him to come to me or me to just text him or call him I dunno???????? What to do.feeling all mixed emotions just took me a nerve pill.he thinks recovery is a joke,he has never. Been consistent with anything anyway.soo now what????? All the esh I can possibly get Ty for allowing me to ramble on n on..........looking up
I have missed you and am glad that you have posted and shared. Alcoholism is indeed a powerful, confusing disease over which we are powerless. It is important to take care of yourself, live one day at a tine trusting HP. It is also important to use your alanon tools, by examining your motives before making any decisions. I believe you took the right action by coming here and sharing. Pray for guidance before taking any action and keep coming back
Spoke with a new comer at our home meeting tonight partly that our program is about changing ourselves and that in the program we get to learn what our part in it is which we are to change or else we continue on doing the same things over and over again expecting different results...which I learn was the definition of insanity. I'm hoping you have a home group to attend and the literature an maybe a sponsor. Doing this alone with only my original thoughts, feelings and behaviors never ever did work for me and then I quit using my tricks and learned a new program. Hoping for you. ((((hugs))))
Thanks hot rod and jerry f for your replies they do mean a whole lot to me, we'll my a never came home last nite or called me either I don't have a clue as to what's going on with him..here it is 2am and I'm wide awake,and confused,do i let him move back in or what I'd have to get married to him to make it right with my hp,1st off.wow that would be right up his ally cause he is very homeless right now and has been homeless ever since I've known him he lives here and there.he loves liveing with me,he always payed me good rent .any more esh ????ty
I'm glad you're back lookingup - good share and I relate. What helps me is to focus on my needs that I can fulfill myself, learn what I cannot control and practice letting it go. I'm still learning what my needs are. Each day, I do one nice thing for myself (taking a walk, having a coffee break, eating nutritiously, taking a bubble bath, etc) and this helps me figure out what I need. One thing became evident, I need serenity and to not allow some one else's chaos come near. Sending prayers for comfort, wisdom, and courage. Please keep coming back.
Looking...only one of the things I learned about in Al-Anon was about "my" attitudes...my perceptions of reality, how things were and how I perferred them to be. I live by my attitudes which govern in part my value system; the rights and wrongs and the goods and bads for me. One of my attitudes I changed was the difference between helping and enabling. That one was key when I stopped living the way I was living. I was enabling. I was enabling a situation that I didn't agree with and didn't like to exist myself. I disagreed and didn't like what was happening and doing what was necessary for it to exist at the same time. I was living insanity and giving myself false justifications as why I should. I came to admit that I was insane for this and then reached out for help including upward (HP) in changing it. There is no room now in my attitudes and value system for living in active alcoholism and drug addiction. Just for me. I had to do a couple "Here I am agains" like yourself before I got enough practice to not be "here again" again. Your post helps me alot because the disease waits just outside our door wanting us to come out and play some more. Mahalo, Thank you for this. (((((hugs)))))
I have also done the...... here I am again about three times now. The best I can say is that I learn as I go. Mine is gone now (in rehab again) and mother Nature is throwing another big snowstorm my way. Well, my AH had not been home for any of the snowstorms this season and I got very good at working the snowblower, priming it, maintaining it, coaxing it into working ;P but I can say that a positive thing has come form it.....I can sure throw snow!!!!!!
I always tell my AH that with everything that happens, I learn from it and then change how I react so that things don't come back to bite me.
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
i finally find out the truth that he had been hiding his drinking all along,I confronted him 3x then he told me he drank margerittas instead of beer but still changed his behavior when he ,he being my a b/f, came in after work,he called me from work and humbly apologized for his behavior and he went on to saying that I ate too much which was his way of justifying his drinking so I told him it would best that he get out .....so that bein said he came in from work I was at my neighbors next door and then he left but I don't see that he took any clothes with him,,,,,,here I am all alone but no a in my home neither for tonight I'm really got to be tough this time for this time he has managed to stay with me for 1whole year,all the other times I made him leave he would only be here for 3 weeks.i don't want to act or be mean to him that I'm trying not to be or get that way I know he is a very sick person with alcoholism and yes I'm gonna have to talk to him soon.i don't know wether to wait for him to come to me or me to just text him or call him I dunno???????? What to do.feeling all mixed emotions just took me a nerve pill.he thinks recovery is a joke,he has never. Been consistent with anything anyway.soo now what????? All the esh I can possibly get Ty for allowing me to ramble on n on..........looking up 