good news! my daughter starts her job today.....first "real" job in the field she used to be in (as in, not working in our family biz) since she changed her life after she unsuccessfully  tried to take it 6 months ago.

there is a lot to be thankful for....i'm going to quit worrying about what i think is not optimal about her new boyfriend , because it is not up to me....and at least she is sober with him, as they are both in the program, so that is a good thing, and apparently good for her right now. 

thanks for everything i have learned here from all of you caring and sharing.