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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Relax, but annoyed!
Post Info TOPIC: Relax, but annoyed!
NavySealWife


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Relax, but annoyed!
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confuseI dont get how some wives of AH, can say " I just deal with my AH"! It just pisses me off, when I hear that! The wife of the guy my husband spend days at time at there home, lets her AH drink every single day and spend the money he makes on booze, that they dont have cable, or internet and no car. How is that possible or even call love or respect for herself to live in those kind of circumstances! He I am fighting for a healthier me and this women just complains an complains but lets it continue.

 

I love my AH, but enough is enough! I spend one day sober with him last night and here I am home alone again with my 3 kids (German Shepherds) and I'm relax but annoyed how a alcoholic can lie, and lie, and come up with so many excuses that Im slowly not caring anymore if he is home or not! I see my therapist once a week, I go to my face to face support group on monday's but now I have to find a hobby to keep my mind occupied and not worry about my AH! Dont get me wrong I m scared that he will never fall to sobriety again, but I cannot let my mind play with me about him but to take care of me and my future...



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Jerry F


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You have the energy and the drive now...use that energy and drive to re-create your own life the way you desire it.  Focus on your recovery first.  Take your focus off of others.    Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))smile



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grateful2be


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I'm so glad to read that you want to find a hobby for yourself! Smart, smart, smart idea!

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
milkwood


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Greetings NSW!
I've been trying out a few hobbies over the past couple of years and it has been fun meeting some new people along the way as well. I'm afraid that I can relate to your friend's denial process as well, but at the time I thought that I was doing my best! I love your awareness and drive to shape your own life. Looking forward to hearing your ideas

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Cathyinaz


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As you learn to take care of you, you will find AH less and less in your thoughts all the time. You know the 3C's so that why we focus on ourselves because we can control what we do. As time passes you will be able to make better decisions on what you want out of life and have peace no matter if he is drinking or he's not.

Prayers for you and your AH that he might find his way to someday seek help

(((( hugs ))))


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
KennyFenderjazz


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With winter turning into spring, you could have a full time hobby keeping the three Shepherds brushed!

It's amazing how people will just let their standards get lower and lower and lower, until they become like the woman you are talking about. I am guilty of it too. But it's great to be able to get your self-respect back, which does give renewed energy to do new things!

Peace
Kenny

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Debilyn


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We have NO control over anyone but ourselves. You sound like you are on a path and ya sound strong enough to do it.

I wanted to say, no one "lets or allows" anyone else to drink. Those wives have no control over what their husbands do. They can only change themselves.

No one has the right to tell another what to do unless you are teaching a child. We have to decide if we can stay with this person, friend, relative, spouse whatever and accept them as is and be healthy ourselves. or we move on.

its not fair of us to expect anyone to change for us. We have a right to make our own decisions, even in a marriage.

Hope you find something to get yourself into, build your own life. HOpe to see an update. hugs!



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Relax, but annoyed!