The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It was a mixed emotion type of weekend, alternating exhilaration over getting myself a little car, and buyer's remorse when I discovered several repairs that will not be cheap, plus the registration, emissions and insurance all due this week. There are a couple of things wrong with the car that were an unpleasant surprise, and if I hadn't been so eager to snatch it up, I might have been able to get a lower price and thus be able to fix these things less painfully. Woulda, coulda, shoulda....
Then there was Valentine's day, and the sadness that went along with it, plus watching the A going through his cycling and the feeling of being stuck in the movie Groundhog Day. My estranged daughter who lives 2 hours away had a birthday and through texts we had tentatively settled upon Monday that my youngest son and I would drive up and take her to dinner. When I tried calling and texting to confirm that she was free, I got no reply, so.....sigh:/
I also haven't been able to get my oldest son to answer me. I spoke to my middle son, who told me that my oldest had been arrested for a 2nd or 3rd DUI (I'm not sure what # he's on), lost his car and his license. By the grace of his HP, somehow his employer hasn't let him go, and his father is taking him to work. He and his gf are drinking again, and they have 2 little boys, one with my son, and the other from another relationship. I also learned that he is buying swords and I know that he has guns, just not how many. These thoughts are thieves in the night, I push them away with detachment, but they're sticky suckers.
I can't stand my job, but I know that I have to for now. I've been trying to follow the detachment, QTIP, WAIT, and fake it til you make it (act like you love it and your mind will follow) philosophies. There is a very sick, hostile vibe at work and many people comment on it. It's just one more thing to deal with and suck up, but it certainly adds to all the rest of the pathos.
Last week, I'd felt a bit of progress and was rolling along the road to recovery but this week.....
HP...3 C's...detach....gratitiude...sigh
-- Edited by Raven Juniper on Tuesday 18th of February 2014 02:46:04 AM
Raven, (((((hugs))))))
You are probably doing better than you think Reading your post I hear you coping well with a lot of difficult things because every time you mention a worry you also mention a solution. I think that is good going! Keep walking round the potholes on that road to recovery and let the good bits sooth you along the way. Wishing you a good week.
Quit Taking It Personally :) Hugs RJ, one day at a time you are doing it in spite of the tornadoes flying around you. I have such a sense of relief when I don't have to be a part of other people's messes. I have to stay out of it and MMB ... it is hard to do at times. Hugs s :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
"IF" I still lived in Fresno I'd run down and give you a big hug and then truth be known it would take a long swim and then a long walk to do that...so cyber ((((((hugs)))))). Central Valley has a ton and a half of great meetings I hope PTVille is till keeping up. I like your post also. It shows ESH.
Hugs!!! Sounds like you are applying your program to other areas of your life. That's awesome! So sorry about your car issue. I had a friend in program who bought a great looking car at auction. Turns out she had to pour money into repairs for the first few months. the good news? Things are fixed now and the bills are paid off and she's happy she had the experience because she said she will NEVER buy another car at auction again, LOL.
Reading your post I hear you coping well with a lot of difficult things because every time you mention a worry you also mention a solution. I think that is good going! Keep walking round the potholes on that road to recovery and let the good bits sooth you along the way. Wishing you a good week.
