The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Awareness changes everything... I have endured anxiety my entire life.... and right now, my level of anxiety is very high in regard to a work situation.... as my day progressed, and I stayed busy with things needing to be done around my home... I was aware of feeling a 'tug' to contact my AS..... I have chosen no contact for the time being, so I can be more confident in my boundaries..... so I noticed as my anxiety became worse, I wanted to call him.... in other words.... I am aware, I wanted a 'fix'.... instead of dealing with my feelings, making plans, focusing on me.... I felt that need to have someone else's crisis taking my mind off my own..... it is very liberating to be aware of this.... but think I am also allowing myself to finally feel some sadness and grief at how things are.... Reminding myself of not only being powerless over my son's actions or choices.... I am NOT powerless to move forward... take care of me... and not let my 'feelings' make my choices for me.... tonight I am very sad.... but this too shall pass.... but I also needed to share this, when I give my feelings 'light' they don't have the darkness to set and fester into a crisis..... that's all between my ears anyway....
I love coming here and reading and knowing I am not alone.... thanks for letting me share...
That is a profound, "keeper" thought force and slogan. ACE...Awareness Changes Everything. Authored by ladee. I think I keep it and memorize it over and over. (((((hugs))))) Thanks Ladee.
-- Edited by Jerry F on Sunday 16th of February 2014 11:28:12 PM
Great observation and insight. I wonder how much of the "fixing" is just not wanting to sit with anxiety because a lot of the things in our own lives that make us anxious can't be fixed that easily either. For me, it helped to learn to sit with unsure and anxious feelings and then deal with them cuz I couldn't immediately fix things for me either.
ACEs high! Great insight, it's something we all know, but sometimes when you put it into words like that, it takes on new immediate significance. Thanks for sharing!
That is it and how crazy is that.... to avoid my own anxiety to jump head first into someone else s...!!!! and I loved , 'now that I know I can not unknow..."
So I ' made friends with my anxiety' last night..... 'she' isn't the prettiest thing, a tad frazzled and no where close to being in NOW this minute" but I did embrace that part of me... and understand, it's just part of the package.... and deep breaths , prayer, and onward on the journey I have been blessed with ... I am alive... so that means I have at least one more chance to be ok... and ok is good enough....
Thank you all for your thoughts and sharing..... I'll just throw ol' Anxiety in my purse and off we go... got things to do and people to see..
I hate to admit knowing exactly what you mean, diverting away from my own dis-ease and focusing on my sons has meant I have been able to stay in denial really. Facing away from my own inner self and looking outwards. I have found relief only from working the steps. Im doing that right now.x
Thanks everyone for your supportive validation.... working the steps are not difficult for me... been doing that many years... but am so happy when a new insight appears... means I am still growing... and I like that.... stagnant makes for some very unhappy days..... and it feels so good to not be alone.... thanks again.