The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
He was out of the house, he called a friend of his and said he couldn't live anymore, he called me, sounded really drunk. He needed his sponsors number to get help. He said he just couldn't deal anymore, he would just jump off the hotel roof. I called police again. This time they got him to the crisis unit. He had to dry out a bit before his interview, this is around 2 pm, about midnight I get a call from mental health screener she says ...just to check some background. She spoke to him and he was going to be let go soon but she wanted to check some facts. I gave her the facts --- she said....oh this sounds a bit more serious and that while in speaking to him...she can see that he has a severe case of anxiety (worst she has seen yet) so he will, at least have to talk to a doctor in the morning.......
As I talk to her she tells me he was calm but had struck a nurse in the ER (WHAT--he is not violent....) this is out of character for him, then she says, oh he is a bit agitated right now, she can see him arguing with the security guard, then yelling in the background....screener yelling--- PUSH THE BUTTON!
{{It's like listening to a freaking horror movie}}.....she says to me---- call back in the morning-----click.
How does one possibly push that to the back of your mind?
I have the guilt feelings creeping back in....I answered her questions because I know him (or do I?) I know the him that is not on alcohol and meds----the non-anxiety filled him........I really don't know what has become of him. him him him UGH
I am still deep into this crap and so confused.
Well, somehow I fell asleep a bit last night, I have faith that the doctors will find help for him. FINALLY.
ME? I will be alright, at least this much I know.
__________________
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
Good that you told him he couldn't come home and stuck to your guns on this one. He'd be doing in your house what he is doing in the hospital or jail now. You couldn't have handled all this. Your HP is looking out for you. His HP is looking out for him. Had you given in to guilt and let him come back to the house "until he found another place to go" or something on that order, you could have ended up in the hospital or worse. Good work!!!!! You may have helped yourself save your own life. (((JB)))
I am so sorry for the very upsetting event. Take s deep breathe. He is in the doctors care now. He will be fine.
This gives you a chance to rest and get your thoughts together.
Call some alnon people to help you in this tough situation.
Hope
__________________
I have hope that my next minute will be better and to learn from my last minute.
Yes I am good now....he is being admitted.....I believe they said some sort of mental breakdown-- (duh....I could've told them that.) He asked me for help and now he is getting it. I have always told me that if he is headed in the positive direction of recovery I will be supportive.
Of course he really paid the price this time because he basically got tuned up when he grabbed an ER nurse. Security did a dance on his noggin---but those were his consequences of his actions. Lesson learned for him!
Off to work....have a great day peeps!!!!
__________________
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
how does one put this out of your mind? My AH was someone I knew almost all my life. To see the man you love, his body, but he is not the same person, honestly is a nightmare.
I had to tell myself the boy, young adult man to a man I knew and loved was dead. that was the only way I could handle it and stop myself from communicating with him in any way.
Over time, knowing he is so ill, always getting hurt, has cancer,has no friends or family, has lost all this wonderful talents, it just sorta softened in me and I let it go. I care very much. I really put it in my HP's hands. He was always there anyway, but I had to let go of my part.
taught myself a long time ago to sleep thru pain, all kinds of pain, even labor. so resting, naps, reading, working hard etc is how I let it go and walked away from it. Its his life, not mine.
hugs hon, I am impressed with your progress!
__________________
Putting HP first, always <(*@*)>
"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."
I also think you go some good detachment going Jilly...keep working that. With my alcoholic/addict wife I came to the realization that I wasn't born with an instruction manual for how to fix and or manage her and that the choice to drink and use mind and mood altering chemical came with her and I had no experience with healing an addicted person. I had to learn how to manage my own life and a big part of that was detaching from people, places and things I was getting crazy over. I also knew I was insane...what a wonderful awareness and I was still free to walk the streets of my town. LOL couldn't figure that one out and then I got to Al-Anon first before I was netted to the spaceship I was looking for arrived. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))