The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello everyone, sending love and hugs out to you all today...and yesterday. ABF is getting worse every time, doing less and less. I understand what is going on but I admit it still smarts a little. In the past several months I've become very familiar with the phrase "going to the hardware store to buy bread."
The past couple of days before Valentine's Day, ABF had been hinting that since he had worked several hours at the mini mart, he was going to get me something, but wanted to know: what did I want? I had to hold my tongue on that one, lol. I bought him some sausage bites, candy, nacho fixings...and came home from a hectic night at work to what I guess was his gift for me: dirty dishes in the sink and the glassy, smug look of the self-satisfied A...yeah, like I didn't see that one coming. Last year at least there was a half-eaten meatloaf from the deli and a pot of flowers. But yeah, I did expect tonight's results, and, got what I expected. Oh, and did I mention the divey bar smell? I thought it was funny how a few of you all had mentioned meatloaf in your shares too..
Anyway, the moral of my story is similar too, besides the meatloaf... Last year, I would have stomped around, thrown a few hissy fits, and made a big scene about how I can do plenty for myself, all by myself. I had the right idea, but I would have made sure HE knew that I was going to treat myself. This time around was a little different.
This year, without any fanfare, or asking if it was okay, for Valentine's Day, I bought myself...a car! Yay! It's old, it's got issues that will definitely need to be attended to, but...it runs! And (so far) beautifully! And, I did it myself! It took a while to save with the holiday and other setbacks, but I learned that I can do for myself. The difference that I noticed in my growth since MIP last year was that the old me would've been putting up a front about being Ms. Independent, but inside secretly hoping for Prince Charming to come along and rescue her. Now I know that I can rescue myself with the help of HP.
I might have to wait on the pampering, but at least now when I have the funds, I can drive to the appointment
-- Edited by Raven Juniper on Saturday 15th of February 2014 05:05:40 AM
Bravo! Now go buy yourself an actual valentine today:) Great deals and enjoy every bit of it while admiring your new car! Heck, put a card in it too from your secret admirer....not lying. It means you:) And Beam! lol
Good for you Raven, congratulations on the the new car! Great that you treated YOURSELF well this year. There does seem to be a Valentine's / Meatloaf theme here on MIP, that cracked me up. I also got that same nice "look" when I got home from work last night. Love is in the Air LOL. What is really different this year is, I am not bothered by it, ...at all. I kept the expectation at ZERO, so it made his 7:45 pm announcement of, "I'm going to bed, I have to work tomorrow" a special holiday bonus! I had a nice day regardless without any resentment.
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Nothing has changed but my attitude, everything has changed.
Meatloaf......reminds me of the song by Meatloaf Paradise by the Dashboard Light --------"I'm gonna love you til the end of time............now I prayin for the end of time" LOL
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
Congratulations on the car! It'll continue to be proof that you're loved by the most important person.. yourself. Good job with the patience it took to sacrifice and save for it. It's so easy to give our feelings power over us when we're having a bad day and spend money as an instant fix or even worse enable someone who is actively drinking. You must be working a very good program to have stayed the course and saved your money. Hope your new baby brings you lots of joy! TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
