The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My goodness! I told my AH that I was going back to Al-Anon meetings. I realize of course that I didnt have to tell him, however the day that the meetings happen is also the day my kids take part in an afterschool program, and basically I would have enough time to drop them off at home then off to the meeting. They would have to take care of supper themselves (AH, 16yr old, 14yr and 12yr). He was not happy about it. It went in to us have a 4 hr "conversation" in which the whole time he blamed alot on me, and insisted that I am trying to change him, and how he gets treated like crap and never gets anything. He even went on facebook on his status going on and on about how women do this and that and that people should think twice about saying I do. And why should he put up with it? Needless to say he didnt get very many comments. I stayed quiet during the whole time. There was no point getting upset, or being sucked into his insanity. I know what is real and what isnt. Anyway.. thats how my week was going so far.
Glad you are taking care of you. Have you read "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews, it was a very helpful read for me. Sending you love and support on your journey!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
You did awesome at not getting sucked into his drama and arguing!! Doesn't it look ridiculous when you look at the behavior? Stay strong and focused. I have kids similar ages. They can get themselves supper! Do this for you!!
Right on responses and truthfully Jen you did good. If you see him as another "kid" it might help further with the understanding. I learned a long while back from several sources including college and my own personal experience that when the alcoholic starts compulsively drinking they stop growing/maturing...mind, body, spirit and emotions....they stay a kid and another source was my mother who was a daughter of an alcoholic when at one time I described a kitten we had as sooo cute she said "if you want to keep it a kitten...feed it alcohol" I didn't get that until much much later and now its true. He can tantrum and do his drama baby routine and blame and complain...don't react...keep on doing your good stuff and maybe he'll give it up and go talk with people who can help him stop drinking. ((((hugs))))
As soon as my son is done w/ basketball, I am taking both my kids w/ me to my meetings, luckily there is Alateen at the same place and time. I know they won't want to go at first but I am going to sell it as a nite out followed by frozen yogurt (who could pass that up???!!! ;P
My AH has done the facebook stuff too, he asked how I like his posts, I just told him I am glad they are under his name for all to see......he deleted them.
__________________
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
