The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I use to say that all the time what about me I deserve to be happy why can't I find some one to follow me and pick up my pity.
Well I don't no how I wake up every day and only think about the day I'm living . I rather be a day behind then a day ahead wonder what is tomorrow going to be like . My saying would be if some one asked me what did u do today I would reply ground hog day just like the movie . Everything the same nothing new same old poor me .
I don't worry about me anymore I'm ok my higher power is with me he not going to let anything happen to me . He carried me this far he wants me to know the secret of life . I found it . It's me to love me and to take care of me and no other adult . They have there own problems I have me and my kids and right now there problems are small enought for me to help them with . I passed on the Alaon tools to survival of alcoholism and everyday life and life has been better. It's not the way I want it to be but you can't have it all.
When my A sober (?) starts with his rude sexual comments harassment and his own pity he thinks I pick up . I just sing to myself and give a smile like I really care about his crap he telling me . Selected hearing I found works . Now that he is sober he bored and he wants to fix me . It seams like all of my flaws affect him in every way but I'm ok with them . I am complex compounded with more broken pieces than others but I learned to accept it . I know denial is a killer it hides all . I no longer tell my nightmare of a story on how this and that ruined my life . I don't point fingers to pass blame or shame . I take my own pity sort threw it and take my time to see what needs to be repaired and what I can toss out . I am my own problem to solve learn and fix no one else's . I have my whole life to figure me out why do I need to rush to make some one else happy . I can only make my A s (?) happy when I am happy . For me to give to others I need to take what I need for myself first. Today is the only thing on my mind . And the other parts of me are finally realizing I'm the leader of my pack I'm the hostess with most that ready to live her day to the fullest . Some of you might understand what I mean and some might not . I'm a very hard person to understand .
Sis you aren't that complex to understand...that sounded a lot like me back when including the growing that you are doing. You're really changing for the better and I am glad you bring it here so that others can find hope and support from your ESH. ((((Wisdome))))) and ((((courage)))))
When I get busy I get better. There is a motto/slogan that says Live and let live. I place the emphasis on the first part. LIVE!! Today I want more than to exist or to survive or walk around on eggshells. I have learned to detach and to take responsibility for my own actions. This takes some work, and it was scary to begin with but it brings a peace and a sense of well being that I could not have known had I continued in the drama and chaos of "trying to solve the problem" of alcoholism. Today I use the 3 C's (did not Cause, can't control nor cure) in order to let go of the A's in my life. I no longer enable nor engage in drama. I have boundaries and self-worth. I no longer live in fear of "loosing a relationship". I also use the 3 P's (Pause, Pray & Proceed) in order to receive guidance and by tuning out of the chaos and into the spiritual I have a confidence that before was unimaginable.
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IF you can not be a good example; then you will just have to be a horrible warning
((((Wisdome)))))
Thank you so much for this share - your comment about 'now that he is sober he is bored. He wants to fix me' really jumped out at me. I really appreciate and relate to that connection (((hugs)))
