The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It is obvious that my sister in law is losing herself to alcohol, when is it time to butt out ? When is it time to say something, do something, as it stands looks like friends and family have made calls to her doctor informing him of her state of mind, wanting to kill herself, the drinking , the use of illegal drugs, I was asked to do the same, I guess this is some form of intervention,
Problem is I know there is a lot of stuff she told me that no one else knows , if I tell her doctor these things and it is brought up she will know i called, although the doctor says no names will be mentioned or put on file, she knows who she talked to, when is it okay to break that trust , that confidentiality you have with someone...
Do i really think she is suicidal, no I don't I think it is a cry for attention, words of despair, I don't think calling me saying it , is what she is planning
As I mention in my other post have my own dealings to deal with ... but aghrrrrr just would hate to sit back do nothing and feel guilty if she hurts herself,
Once my son was talking bad bad things to me on the phone one morning. I feared for his life. HE WAS TELLING ME.....so I hung up called the police and let them handle it. I went to his place and met the police there with the paramedics. He was all upset and didn't know why we were all there. They took him away and on the way out he was cussing me to no end. First time I heard him say FY.
I know he wanted attention because if he really wanted death he could have done it right there right now without letting me know. I told him I will do it again and again so stop that crap and get help. From then on he doesn't talk about death and wants to live so bad but can't stop his addiction. Tries every month but doesn't last every long.
I can only pray for him....let go let God take care of it because I can't.
(((( hugs ))))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I would think the reason to have an intervention would be to get her to sign up for a treatment program. Most inpatient rehab centers have people that specialize in helping with interventions.
If you feel you have a responsibility to do something here, then it shouldn't matter if she finds out or not, you will be doing her a service. Take all the stuff you are learning and applying to AH, and it all applies to this situation too.
BTW only you know the answer to that first question. Use your tools and go to meetings, get your mind cleared, and you will know what to do.
Thanks and you know what I can do that, I can tell her just like you told your son Cathynaz, that might stop that part of the non sense she is pulling on me. Kenny I guess at the end of the day her being mad will pass if she can get the help she needs ... thank you and you're right with all i have on my own plate this added stress is probably not needed ..
The thing to remember is that there are those who have done the same thing, and carried out. I have heard the grieving families / friends who didn't believe it for various reasons now blaming themselves.
I have also cleaned up a suicide....something that will never leave completely. Then, this person in a small community was known by all. I had medical staff coming up to ME asking/pleading with ME to do something! I'm just a nurse. And not a psych nurse at that, only on rotations. Naturally, she succeeded.
My point. Fearing their possible reactions is minute compared to the devastating ending that can ensue. I would pose the question. Worse case scenario. What can you live with? Again, these are situations with no do overs. Blessings to you in your decisions and wisdom.
As a rule of thumb, I let people know prior to them sharing anything with me confidentially that I will always keep their confidences unless they say they are going to harm themselves or another person. I don't allow myself to become a co-conspirator with someone who is contemplating suicide or harm to another. In this way, the person knows ahead of time that they can share something like that with me and expect it to be shared with the appropriate persons or agencies or they can choose not to share it with me because they know I'm not going to keep it a secret between us. Works for me.
