The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well I thought about it . I am going to start back to step one recap make it to my inventory and start the process of finding me and who I am and I don't have a Sponser anymore is there anyone that would like to help me with my step works and Sponser me I no longer have my car so getting to a meeting is not a choice for me . I'm going to do it on line . I kinda no what to exspect of me and no some about me and I'm am really afraid to find out how damage I am . I really want the help , I want to be able to understand me why I do what I'm doing why I'm acting out in different ways nows . I want to be able to sit in a room with ppl and feel comfortable and not shameful of who I am hidden inside . I want to be able to change my ways and stop hiding my true self from me . My A sober asked me today are you leaving me when I told hIm I am seriously taking my Alaon step work now and I'm going to finish it . aGAIN he said no your fine let the past go . Are you leaving me !! I said right now I can tell you know , but if you continue to interfere with my recover and keep violating me and calling me names , yes I will leave . I'm a person who put up with your poor behavior for years , I was the walking mat for you to use me. I supported you the best I could when I was sick and week and uneducated In alcoholism . But this is my time for me to do what I need to do to better understand me. Will you help and support me . He said NO . You know how I feel about Alaon . I said well there nothing else I need or want to here from you .
Sounds like you're finding a better understanding of where you need to be. When we learn to place our situations, problems (perceptions) etc .. in their clear perspectives .. we find they no longer dominate our thinking .. even our perception of ourselves gets distorted .. chances are, if we could see ourselves clearly as we really are, we'd like ourselves a lot more .. know for me, I couldn't just let go of my past because the secret was, it still effected me .. I felt like there was something wrong with me because it seemed others were able to let go of theirs .. regardless of how long it takes me to look at something, just because I don't look, doesn't mean it isn't there .. we were just as powerless over the effects in our past as we are in our today .. we can't change our past, but we can change our perception of it and learn to be at peace with it .. some people don't like looking because there's fear .. fear stands for: Face everything (everyone) and recover .. the more we face ourselves and our secrets of the past, the freer we become ..
We never face ourselves alone in these rooms .. higher power (one authority .. a loving God expressing Himself through our group conscience) is always with us ..
Well I thought about it . I am going to start back to step one recap make it to my inventory and start the process of finding me and who I am and I don't have a Sponser anymore is there anyone that would like to help me with my step works and Sponser me I no longer have my car so getting to a meeting is not a choice for me . I'm going to do it on line . I kinda no what to exspect of me and no some about me and I'm am really afraid to find out how damage I am . I really want the help , I want to be able to understand me why I do what I'm doing why I'm acting out in different ways nows . I want to be able to sit in a room with ppl and feel comfortable and not shameful of who I am hidden inside . I want to be able to change my ways and stop hiding my true self from me . My A sober asked me today are you leaving me when I told hIm I am seriously taking my Alaon step work now and I'm going to finish it . aGAIN he said no your fine let the past go . Are you leaving me !! I said right now I can tell you know , but if you continue to interfere with my recover and keep violating me and calling me names , yes I will leave . I'm a person who put up with your poor behavior for years , I was the walking mat for you to use me. I supported you the best I could when I was sick and week and uneducated In alcoholism . But this is my time for me to do what I need to do to better understand me. Will you help and support me . He said NO . You know how I feel about Alaon . I said well there nothing else I need or want to here from you .