Today I was cleaning the fish tank and thinking why am I cleaning the stupid fish tank?
Let me backup, last spring I went to a carnival. I played the game where you toss ping pong balls and try to sink the ball into a glass to win a fish. I won 3 goldfish. We didn't have a fish tank and I had no clue how to care for them. I decided to give them to my husband. I thought, he rarely goes anywhere but to work. While he is sitting just watching TV, he could also watch the fish. Maybe the water would be soothing. He may like messing with the tank and filter and pump. It could serve as a new hobby...I get home with the fish in their plastic bags and excitedly announce, "Look I won some fish for you!" The excitement was not mutual. "They won't survive" he says, "they will need a tank." My plan is working, yeah..., he likes the fishes, seems to be caring for them... I think. "Do you want to go to the pet store with me and get a tank and some rocks and ornaments?" I ask. "No, that's okay, you can get whatever you want." Hmm okay...So, off I go... got a tutorial on caring for the goldfish from the nice boy at the pet store. I come home with a tank, rocks, a castle, 3 plastic plants, a filter, food, an oxygenator air pump thingy, light with cover, net, water stabilizer. One fish has already died while I was at the store. Husband seems interested in putting the tank together, he gets the two fish in the tank and all is good. He feeds them and that is it. There is no interest in the fishes past day 2-3. Two or three weeks goes by and the water turns green, the tank is getting nasty. Trying my best to stay out of his new hobby, the tank gets to the point I can't bear it any longer, I scoop the fishies out and clean the tank and filter etc. I am so upset... the poor fish don't deserve this. I have been cleaning the tank ever since, ticked off each and every time, until today when it dawns on me. I tried to engineer yet another outcome. He didn't ask for fish, he never asked for a hobby, and he was perfectly content doing what he does. I was the one that thought it would be a good idea for him to have fish. I thought it would be a fun hobby for him. I thought it would be soothing for him. I was wrong.

I manipulated the situation. I made up some reasons why he should want the fish, but I knew that he didn't really want fish, so he failed, and I came in and took over the show and SAVED the fish, another rescue, my specialty, great... I finally stop rescuing people in my life and now I start rescuing fish. I am going to accept that he never wanted the fish, admit that my actual motive was likely to keep him busy with the fish so that he would leave me alone. So now what? I am going to just take care of the fish because now I truly like the fish, I am the one that could really use a hobby, I eat my breakfast sitting with the fish and talk to them and I find the water sounds wonderfully soothing. 

Thanks to my two goldfish I learned about more of my personal defects: Manipulative, Controlling, Imposing my Superiority,  Need for Attention, Acting as a Hero, Rescuing, Dishonesty. Thanks for letting me share.