The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Sometimes I think of my journey with my ex-A, as bad as it was, as awful as it was to be screamed at, blamed, bullied - as bad as it was and as many tears as I cried, the pain that drove me to Al-Anon, the outcome, my now, was worth it.
Yesterday someone calls me up to say he had bad news for me, my mind went to - somebody's dead! and he proceeded to tell me that a job I was up for was cancelled to which I laughed and said, oh well, there's always next time. I amazed him with my accepting attitude, how un-disappointed I was - but no one was dead, income lost was only money I hadn't spent yet, and I've been allowed the understanding of what could be still - living in pain and suffering with the ex. Life is good, my kids are healthy, my grandkids are amazing even though I never see them (military brats) my mom's still alive, my siblings in tact, my bills are paid and I enjoy a healthy friend base.
And, I CAN credit my ex with leading me down the path to where I am now. But I won't tell him that, he'd want royalties.....
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
School is closed tomorrow because of the weather; Yippee I think, I only have an hour's work outside the house, I get to sleep in and take it easy and.... ring ring, phone, scuse me while I answer it and... huh? you want me to what? ok, so - I don't have tomorrow off, I'm spending the 24 hours with an almost 80year old woman I used to take care of and the daughter is frantically trying to find someone to fill in for absent caregivers and can I please?? Of course I will, because she, the daughter, is a friend, and, she, the 80year old is someone I took care of for 4 years - of course I will help out, I WAS given the day off, right? what else am I going to do? Thing is, before, I might not have just laughed and said yes; I might have fussed and worried and whatnot. But I have so much freedom in my life now. The hour's work is a cleaning job with a guy who is very forgiving because he loves having me as his cleaner, and I can make up the hour anytime; my daughter enjoys when I'm gone so me spending the night away won't bother her. only big difficulty I have is I won't have internet - how will I live without internet for 24 hours? I may just blow up! and poor Betsy has to live without her owner... but she'll survive.
I embrace the concept of simple acceptance - its so easy to live my life now, easy to look at a situation and just accept it and go with it rather than fighting it. Things happen - go with it, because fighting it, well, you still end up giving in and going with it, so why fight it?
Why fight it - sounds like a pretty good slogan to live by!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
I love how HP shows up and shows off when I need it most .. it is an amazing thing to watch and just be present for instead of trying to pretend I have control over it.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I totally get that. I think,deep down, that after an endless stream of obsessive relationships with sick, needy men, I finally chose ABF because he was so incredibly sick that I knew it would finally bring me to my knees and force me to find a way to help myself. I'm happier now than I can remember EVER being, because I am not fixated on trying to earn love from anybody but myself.
Makes perfect sense to me
Thanks for sharing. I can relate to that place of acceptance and being grateful for what you have got. I thought about it in my life and I like you, have a lot to be grateful for when I keep it simple. For me its lost when I think of what might happen tomorrow or what could have happened so I love taking life one day at a time, just staying in the moment, not worrying about what might never happen.x
