The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been reading "Getting Them Sober" tonight. I have avoided it because I assumed it would be completely focused on the alcoholic and how to help him but it's quite clever in the way it lets you think you are "helping him" when it's really about helping yourself. Anyway I came upon a passage that really helped with my question from a few days ago, regarding how to deal with the blaming, scapegoating, trying to convince me that I drink all of that beer he drinks and insane stuff like that.
"Think, imagine, that he is where he belongs-in the hospital getting treatment for his very sick condition-his physical and mental illness. Then, you visit him. You've been peaceful for a few days, because he is away from the house. You walk into the room and he pretends he is the gracious host and you're the patient, about to be admitted to the back wards of a mental hospital. But he has the pyjamas on!"
I guess the title would attract anyone new to the program because that's what we think we are coming to al-anon for in the beginning...if you had tried to tell me back at the start that I could find peace, happiness and a positive outlook while he remained just as sick as ever and that I would have LESS of a hold over the relationship and be HAPPY about it I would have told you that you were freaking nuts. But I'm learning that it's absolutely possible. What a great little book!
-- Edited by Melly1248 on Thursday 6th of February 2014 11:36:36 AM
I am so pleased that you are reading this powerful book and have found a tool that will be helpful for you. You are correct the title is deceiving but the subject matter and suggestions are right on.
I'm so glad that you are pursuing your recovery with such dedication.
It's available on Kindle as well. Love the instant gratification of being able to download and read immediately, plus not having to worry that other people can see the cover if you are reading it in public places.
Kenny
-- Edited by KennyFenderjazz on Thursday 6th of February 2014 02:42:39 PM
Finished it tonight.
Wow.
Shame just kind of melts away when I read someone describe all of the dreadful "secret" things I've done to try to "manage" the craziness.
I got so much out of this book. Wish I could go back in time and give myself a copy of it 8 years ago!!
I am so pleased that you are able to identify with so much of the book and were able to complete it so quickly. It is awonderful reference book so please keep it handy and know you can always reread and any time.
I love your new picture, you certainly look happy and beautiful.
I downloaded it for the nook, but it seems like it might be corrupted. Lots of formatting issues and I was missing the last several pages. I contacted Barnes and Noble, hopefully they can correct it and I can get a read-able copy.
